1st world problem resolved

Now that the dark force that over took my work place has been vanquished, I can turn my attentions to real issues . . . what am I going to wear for fancy restaurants/bars in NOLA over Christmas?

Originally, I'd purchased a black lace skirt/sequined cashmere sweater (very much different than my usual wardrobe of frumpy and dowdy) and a purplish blue with black velvet scroll design dress for christmas wear.  Then, I started looking at the weather and it is going to be in the high 70s/low 80s next week.

I will sweat right through those outfits.

Monkey sweat is not pretty.

I found a nice button down, white shirt and bought a big, chunky necklace to wear Christmas Day and then I already have a wrap-around style shirt that can work with the lace skirt.   So, I wear the skirt to days in a row.  I'm not likely to be judged in the City that Care Forgot.

For some reason, the last few months I've been obsessed with party clothes.  This is very much unlike me.  I normally don't dress up.  I tend to have a "uniform" and just make slight variations from day to day.

Maybe, since I can't show off being a silver-back, I want sparkle and sequins instead.  Because that helps a monkey blend in, doesn't it?

In which I learn that I am, actually, a prude.

We are in NOLA.  We have had many drinks and lots of excellent food.  We tried three new bars and tiki seemed to be the theme of the trip.

BUT! Today, a convention has rolled into our hotel.  Swingers.  OLD SWINGERS.  I saw a woman, a good 15 years older than me and likely someone's grandmother, leave our hotel in a see-through nightie and panties. And, my gut reaction was not one of "meh."

I like to think that for the most part, I pretty much don't care about what other folks do in the privacy of their rooms.  Frankly, I don't really want to ever have to think about what other folks do in private.  I do, however, have all kinds of judgement for those who patronize "sex" businesses; largely because I know that the great majority of such establishments not only exploit their "workers" but also condone and encourage their customers to push boundaries of consent and decency.  I know that the women, young men, transpeople who work in such businesses are not safe.

I also have all kinds of judgement for people who force others to deal with their sex acts.  This is different from their sexuality . . . but if you're wacking it in public, or humping up on other people/critters/furniture where others can see you . . . or leading your partner around on a leash at the mall then you have violated the rights of others.

Frankly, this shouldn't make me a prude, but I guess it does.   You do you and I'll do me but don't make me see you doing IT.

Coming back

I had to be out of town this week on business.  I have long since outgrown being excited over business trips. And, it didn't help that ESK left me, and back in the day, trips with her were always a blast.  We'd make time to do something fun and bonding.  We'd eat adventurous food. It is tremendously difficult to find good traveling companions.

But, apparently, the one who really suffered was The Pirate Jean Lafitte.  Phenom tells me that he would run into the bedroom and look for me, that he'd look for me around the house and cry when he couldn't find me.

When I got home, there was much cooing and cuddling and not letting me too far out of his reach. Plus, there was this:

I suspect he will not be pleased to learn there are three (at least) more excursions, on which he isn't invited, planned this summer.

Food Heaven

I'm in PDX.  I had a seat in first class for the flight out here (and on my return trip.)  I got a meal with my early morning flight.  First real meal I've not had to purchase in years on a flight.  I selected cereal and yogurt.  It came with fresh fruit, croissant, jelly.  Not bad, really.

For first dinner, we went to a pizza place that is very popular locally, Lovely's Fifty Fifty.  One of the pizzas had these amazing hot sweet peppers. I went online today and ordered an obscenely large order.  (The peppers are a local company and very popular in the area too.)

Today, for lunch we went to a sandwich shop.  I cannot remember the name, but they specialize in pastrami.  I had a reuben.  I always have the reuben.  It was very juicy, tender pastrami.

Tonight, we went to Bamboo Sushi.    I think sushi is one of those things I could just not stop eating.  It's the bite sized pieces.  This place gets all kinds of recognition for being sustainable and green.  The Green Machine is terrific.  So was the sake.

We're driving up to Seattle tomorrow for lunch.  Wonder if we'll stop by to check out the herbals?

My Mission

I love having a mission when I go to NOLA.  I mean, beyond drinking and eating lots and lots.

Today, I was chatting with a dear friend who lives on the left coast.  She is in the R&D phase of opening her own eating establishment.  She has worked, for years, in professional kitchens and is a fantastic home cook as well.  And, although she is from the snowy part of the country, she married herself a Cajun boy.  Her eatery will be NOLA foods.

She has asked me to find some specific art pieces for her new eatery, as well as take pictures she can use as decorations.  She's already culled through several collections of pictures I've taken in the past and found several she likes, and has given me some ideas for specific shots she wants.

And, she is going to repay me in food.  And, did I mention she lives in a state with legal recreational pot?

YIPEE!

All My Favorite Things

For the holiday, we're going to a friend's beach house this weekend.  YAY!  BEACH!!!  YAY! FRIENDS!!!!

And, our friends are not only two of the smartest people we know, but the most popular people we know.  Before they moved away, hanging out with them was like suddenly being welcome at the popular kids' table in the school caf.

But, it gets better.  One of this is a fabulous cook.  He doesn't go in for desserts and baking, so I've been assigned to bring the sweets.  To sweeten the pot, he has given me a theme.  You know I love a theme.

We are going to do a classic tailgate and watch college football.

I'm making mini choco cupcakes and topping them with a key lime frosting I invented.  And, I'm making margarita jello shots.  OH GOSH it feels good to be able to cook again . . . and FOR A THEME!!

Beach! Friends! Food! Football!

My little monkey brain is just pulsing!

Lagniappe

is a creole/cajun term for "a little bit extra" or "bonus."

I'm home, in New Orleans, with two other couples (ranging from my age to retired).  So far, I think everyone is having a good time (possibly even TOO good a time.)

We've also enjoyed some lagniappe.  At the first bar we visited (where we've become friends with the owner) the bartender refilled my glass with the extra of the drink she made for us.  She said that it was either me or her drinking it, because she wasn't going to waste good booze.

Yesterday, after a morning cup of coffee, we headed to my favorite jewelry store.  We picked out the perfect birthday gift for a friend.  Then, I found a really really really pretty diamond ring.  And, Phenom directed my attentions to the case of fleur dis lis jewelry.  I saw a pretty necklace.  He saw another.  I ended up with both.  But the chain on one wasn't the right length for me, so we looked to swap it for a longer one.  The store owner, of course, remembered us from our many previous purchases.  So, rather than charging us for the chain and the pendant, she gave us the replacement chain free.

Before dinner, we popped into the French 75 bar; a favorite.  And, for a time, we had the place to ourselves.  We talked with the bartender, who we've drunk with before.  I explained that we were "drinking the alphabet" and I had some hard to find letters.  He started thinking aloud about what sort of drink he could make and call it "Queen Victoria" for me.  Then my BFF and her husband joined us, and I ordered a "Queen Victoria."  She was disappointed she didn't have "Q" on her list.  After we left, he told her that the drink was our spontaneous invention.  hee hee.  Oh, and he comped us some gougeres and souffled potatoes.

Today, BFF and I are getting tattoos.  More about that later.

Shifting

We go on vacation tomorrow.  It will be interesting because we are joining two other couples on our usual June NOLA trip.  One couple, we've traveled with before and know we do well together, but the other couple we've never traveled WITH.  We've traveled to see them.  They've traveled to see us.  And, one member this couple has met one member of the other couple, but it was a very long time ago in a totally different context.  Everyone else knows us or are strangers.

But, it's NOLA!  How bad could it be?

I am a planner.  I normally like to have a rough outline of what restaurants/bars we plan to visit, but nothing else is planned out on NOLA trips.  But, since I'm the common denominator with all the couples, I felt that some structure was needed.  We were more specific in our restaurant planning . . . and there will be a side excursion that all or any can attend.

But, that isn't what this post is about.  THIS post is about how funny the behavior of our household shifts with little changes.  In preparation of our travels, half the critters have been taken for boarding.  The Old one, the one that pees if she doesn't get a fresh box every day, the one who bullies the other cats, and the one on a special diet are all unhappily at the vet's tonight.  This means the remaining cats are on one hand worried it's a matter of time before they get boxed up too, but on the other hand are enjoying less competition of our hands.  Also, since the one who pees isn't here, I can open the door to the bedroom.  (This winter, the one who pees claimed TWO pairs of my suede boots . . . little troll.)  Right now, as I write, two cats are on the bed and there might be one under the bed too.  (The last cat is hiding under the kitchen table, hoping that if more cats are boxed up, we will forget about her.)

Oscar the Bold (well, he was bold as a kitten, he's kinda a weenie now) is next to me on the bed.  He is waiting for any sort of gesture from me that might be more petting.  Pretty much, this is the happiest he's ever been.  ON THE BED!!! WITH THE MAMA!!!  TWO HAND AFFECTION!!!

Poor Oscar.  Maybe he could still be bold if he got this level of attention and loving everyday.  Or not.

Better fooding today

Today was the day of the great marathon, so my usual breakfast companion was off finding personal glory.  I headed down to the breakfast area and ate at the bar.  This morning, a smoothie and chocolate croissant.  Then, brought my other traveling companion a cup a coffee and chocolate croissant of her own.

We headed out to Boston proper.  There was much more walking than we'd originally planned.  We wandered the shops/neighborhood known as Back Bay.  Really, a beautiful area . . . trees in bloom, lovely grassy park in the center of the lane.  We would occasionally sniff food smells and on a whim decided on an Italian place.  We were greeted at the door by a solid looking Italian grandmother.  All the waiters had Italian accents.  But, most importantly, the food was delicious.  I had a pasta with pesto with sauteed mushrooms and grilled chicken tucked into the bowl.

The crowds of people cheering on the runners was record-breaking.  I have heard several runners comment that no other marathon is hosted by a city that does more to pull together to support the race.  NOLA has the saints and Boston has this grand, wonderful marathon.

Tonight, we repeated at a restaurant I happened to notice out of the corner of my eye on the return from down town our first day, Helmand.  It features foods of Afghanistan.  The first night, it was so crowded we had to settle for the Thai place next door (no complaints).  We made reservations for the next night.  It was spicy and flavorful and perfectly prepared.  I had trout with the best sauteed eggplant I've ever eaten.  Tonight, I had beef tenderloin that was spiced and grilled.  The play of the spices with the smoke of the grill made for one of the best steaks I've ever eaten.  It was served with lentils two ways, and rice, and a tomato jam like substance that was spicy and may have ruined me for steak.

Oh, and it is Boston, I did manage a dunkin donuts treat earlier today, too.

Bookends

When we were in NOLA, over Christmas, I thought I pulled a muscle in my stomach.  Apparently, that was the beginning of this whole, bizarre, medical adventure.  Since then, it's been ER visits, ambulance rides, various hospital beds (I liked the one that re-inflated/readjusted itself every time I moved best), and showing off my monkey bits to pretty much anyone who asked.  (Oddly, having existed this many years in the human world, rarely did humans have any interest in my monkey bits . . . and in the last 3 months . . . parades of humans have expressed an interest.

Now that I'm mostly functional again, I've gotten to travel.  I'm in Boston. My hotel room looks out over Harvard.  (And, a mall.  America's most historical city and I can spend the day watching the customers at a cheesecake factory.)

Later today, we'll venture out to more historic looking places.  Probably have some food we can't find in culinary hell.  (Oh, and if I press my forehead to the window of my room and look off to one side, I can see the Charles river.)

This is probably the lowest key vacation I've ever had.  But, I'm hoping that it will serve as the closing door on the last few months of medical experiments.

Crushed it.

If you do something you thought was out of character for yourself . . . for a t-shirt . . . are you a whore?

PS. . . those are scorpions in the tequila.

Party Fund

I assume most folks have a container in which they dump their pocket change.  I do.  I use stadium cups like those you get at sporting events.  I collect change in them over the course of a couple of years (generally filling several cups to over flowing).

I call it my "party fund."  When I cash in the change for bills, I then use the money for some alcohol fueled indulgence.

I'll be cashing in the cups this weekend.  I hear there's this bar that will give you a t-shirt if you do a shot with a worm in it.  I'll be getting at least one t-shirt with the party fund.  WOOT!

Good Monkey Deed

We had a wonderful, relaxing, drunken, full-bellied trip to the beach this weekend.  And, I even managed to earn a karma point.

We'd been walking on the beach with one of our friends.  As we came up from the sand and surf, we decided to stop by the bird sanctuary and look at the pelicans and owls being rehabilitated.  As we approached, there was a small family walking back from their day on the beach.  One of the toddlers was tired and wanted to be carried home.  The mother was also tired, and I imagine didn't want a cold, wet, sticky child attached to her.  They were at a stand-off.  Toddler didn't want to prove he COULD walk and mom just wanted to get home and get the wet clothes off.  Toddler was threatening to melt down.  Mom was using her best please-don't-melt-down-see-everything-is-okay voice.

I turned and asked the child "do you want to see the ducks?"  The child was a tad surprised, and I, with spirit squad enthusiasm offered again.  He took off trotting towards me.  I offered to hoist him up to look over the fence, when his mother was able to scoop him up.  We pointed at the owls and the pelicans, and the family of ducks.  And, then the mother turned to walk away (still holding a now happy, distracted child) and mouthed "thank you" at me.

I figure I earned another drink with that one, don't you?

On the horizon, FUN

One of our all time favorite movies is A Christmas Story.  We love the anticipation Ralphie has, leading up the Christmas morning.  In fact, in keeping with that build up, we never watch it before the 24 hour marathon showing of it on Christmas eve/day.

I kinda feel like Ralphie right now.

I've got fun plans made . . . but waiting is becoming a torture.

This weekend, we are going to a cabin in the woods with friends.  There will be good food and drinking.  But, best of all . . . friends we haven't seen in a long while.

And June is jam packed.  We have a weekend with friends at their beach house.  And, of course, a week in N'awlins.  We have two new restaurants we want to visit this trip.  Daily visits to their menu pages on the interwebz isn't helping me with the anticipation problems.

This trip, the drinking theme/game (you know, drinking is more fun if you have a game) will be Noah's Ark.  We're going to drink the rainbow and collect as many animal (toys) from drinks as we can.  There may or may not (totally) be plans to imbibe a worm in pursuit of a free t-shirt.

And, because you need balance, I'm seriously thinking of signing up for a yoga/cardio bootcamp class.  OY! I've lost my mind, haven't I?

Shocking!

Several years ago, while visiting the Old Folks, I quipped to The Phenom that the people in my hometown were exceptionally law abiding.  Then, just 5 minutes later, I was carded while purchasing cough medicine.  The smugness was at an all time high.

This past weekend, I discovered (after nearly 25 years of it being a well kept secret) that I married the Delinquent of Mt. Airy!

I've always known The Phenom to be the paragon of virtue and honesty.  His integrity was refreshing.  And, it was all a lie.

The Phenom, repeatedly and without remorse, JAY WALKED.  Once, even in front of an officer of the law.  When I protested and pointed to the officer, Phenom simply sneered "I'm not afraid of any copper."  

I'm embarrassed to report that allowed myself to be dragged across the street, between cars . . . outside the designated crosswalk.  My protests were weak, and I should have stood firm for my own law-abiding ways.  But, I allowed peer pressure to sway me.

Let my downfall be a lesson to you.

Random

I stayed up way too late last night finishing a book.  This Book.  I thought about suggesting that anyone who has doubts about their own fitness as a parent should read it, then I remembered one or two really terrible parents I know who probably shouldn't get any funny ideas that they are actually swell at their job.  I found myself trying to find a single character I could find sympathetic.  I guess I could stretch and say there were a couple secondary characters, but it would be a stretch.  Then again, all the other characters were viewed through the lens of the narrator who was truly horrible.

This is my newest obsession snack.  In fact, I have a small can sitting next to me right now.  Even Phenom likes them and usually wasabi or horseradish isn't his thing.  Now that I know they come in 1 lb bags, I might have a real problem.

Over the Easter weekend, Phenom and I took a mini-break and headed up to his old hometown.  We stay in a hotel now because he no longer has living relatives in the area.  But, his little home town is a lovely place.  And, DAMN! they wear good shoes.  I always find shoes when we visit.  I bought some of these, 30% off.  And, something kinda like these at 50% off.  There was one more shoe store I wanted to visit (store wide sale) but we kept getting there when they were closed.

I keep declaring weekends "diet free" times.  I was so disappointed to find that those forbidden foods that I so looked forward to weren't as tasty as I hoped they would be.  The fried fish seemed dry.  The rolls and bread just seemed bland.  Damn it.  We even stopped by a Dunkin' Donuts, and my usual chocolate cake donut just seemed dull.  Oh well, more wasabi almonds I guess.

Getting back in the groove

After the foodapalooza that was my trip to PDX, I've had a hard time getting back to the discipline of my diet.  And, add to the lack of motivation, we've hit that point in the winter when I really want fresh veggies and bright flavors.

But, I've learned how to snack better.  I invested in a bunch of 1/2 cup plastic containers at the start of this diet.  Each day, I fill a couple with various snacks.  Usually, one has almonds and cashews.  Another might have some hummus.  Sometimes, I'll pack up some cheese.  I try to have at least one dairy and one nut serving a day to boost the protein.  I've discovered that strips of red/yellow bell pepper with a single serve packet of guacamole is a great afternoon snack.  Greek yogurt has become a staple.  My friends in PDX introduced me to Greek Gods Yogurt.  It is full fat. . .  but like eating custard.  I also keep baby carrots and tiny tomatoes available for on the fly snacking.

But, the thing that seems to help the most are flavors.  I've found that dipping my hard boiled eggs in harissa makes for a tasty breakfast.  Tonight, I put a little curry powder and a pinch of salt in a bowl, and dipped tiny tomatoes in it.  Curry is one of my favorites.

Even if I don't stick to the diet forever, at least I've expanded my snacking.

Oh the food

It is a good thing I decided a long time ago that my diet would be less important during vacations and travel.  I did have a couple days of lots of carbs, but for the most part, everything I ate was terrific and mostly fit into my eating plan.

The Phenom was terribly worried that if I went from 7am to 3:30pm (our time) without eating something proper, I'd be the werewolf by the time I landed.  This would not impress my friends.  I brought a few snacks along with me . . . baggies of almonds, protein bar, and water bottle.  I bought a fruit and cheese snack on the flight.  The grapes were sweet, but the apples had been frozen and thawed and were less than appetizing.  But, there were four generous portions of cheese.  The artsy crackers were really just hard card board and easy to not eat.

My first night, we went to a local place that is gathering quite a bit of attention on the national foodie scene, Olympic Provisions.  I actually received a gift box of their stuff for christmas and was excited to see the place for real.  It was a chilly, damp night, so I had some braised beef, mushrooms, and polenta.  There isn't much better for warming you, body and soul.

The next morning, we headed down the hill for breakfast at a little place my friend frequents.  I had a lovely breakfast of eggs fixed with prosciutto and spinach.  I was going to be "diet" good and not eat toast . . . but they brought it anyway.  It was this lovely multi-grain loaf and there were house-made marion berry preserves on the table.  It was a nice way to get some whole grain.

For lunch, we had tea and snacks at the Chinese Gardens tea house.  And then we wandered up to Voodoo donut.  I skipped the touristy donuts and had a mexican chocolate donut . . . chocolate cake donut dusted with cinnamon and red pepper.  DELISH!

For dinner, several of us gathered for a three person/monkey birthday meal at a farm-to-table restaurant called Clark Lewis.  As tempting as the pastas were, I went for a salad and sauteed steelhead.

The next morning, we popped down to the french bakery for breakfast.  I had a croissant with locally made chicken sausage, spinach, eggs, and cheese.  And, a nice salad on the side.  Salad for breakfast is a fresh way to wake up.  We tried another bakery in the down town area for lunch.  I had a greek sandwich with hummus, veggies, and a bit of salad on the side.  The sandwich had shaved fennel as one of the veggies.  I'll have to add that to my chopped greek salad later this summer.

For dinner, we went to the tapas place down the hill from my friends.  I'm now obsessed with romesco sauce and can foresee eating lots this summer.

On Saturday, I met other friends for lunch at The Imperial.  The owner/chef is a well known figure in the Portland food scene.  This place didn't disappoint.  We started with a dozen oysters.  Tony Bourdain has said that the epiphany moment in his life was eating oysters straight from the waters off the coast of France as a boy.  Tasting these oysters, I understood.  They were fresh and icy cold . . . the grilled meyer lemon and fresh grated horseradish set off their flavor without over powering them beautifully.  I think I could have had a couple dozen of those oysters on my own.

For dinner Saturday, we went to Pok Pok.  This is a restaurant I've wanted to visit for the longest time.  In fact, promise of a visit to this restaurant was part of what lured me to Portland.  We ordered about half the menu and ate as if we'd never eaten before and might never eat again.  Frankly, the thought of going again has me wondering when I should visit Portland again.  IT WAS THAT GOOD.

I've been to Portland

And, it is food mecca.  There was too much good food to do justice in one post.  So, I'll start with the grocery stores.

I was taken into the local food co-op, just down the hill from where I was staying.  The produce section was beautiful.  See:

Sassy, rainbow colored chard, beets to beat the band, greens of all colors, peppers, roots, fresh herbs, and even pea shoots, growing in the store for your stir-frying pleasure.

Sadly, I didn't have my camera with me when I was taken into Zupan's.   Their produce section brought a little tear to my eye from the beauty of it.

Made my trip to hell-mart this morning even sadder.

Surprise!

I feel like I'm in some pretty cool, Portland themed pay-it-forward.  Today, in the mail, I received a package from someone in New Jersey.  At first, I assumed it was one of the several travel books I've signed up for through various tourist sites.  But, the New Jersey address kinda threw me.  I mean, who would think that the Portland tourism board would outsource their mailings to New Jersey?

And, when I opened it, it was a copy of Portlandia, A Guide for Visitors.  I love the show.  I'm hoping that the show is based on actual people who can be found in and around Portland.  But, I have no idea who sent me the book.  Well, there is a return address label.  But it isn't anyone I can recall actually knowing off the top of my head.

So, my imagination is in high gear.  Is this a cult recruitment tool?  Will Portland proselytizers show up on my doorstep, soon, to discuss with me the benefits of accepting Portland into my life?  Is this someone who knows someone who heard I was going to Portland?  Or is there a branch of Anonymous who monitors folks who register for the tourist books and sends out Portlandia?

It's pretty cool.  Getting a treatsky in the mail, totally unexpected, is the kind of thing that makes you think the world isn't half bad . . . and maybe I should give Portland a chance, eh?

Anyway, THANKS Judy from New Jersey!