Memory Lane

I'm spending a lot of time in memories lately.  This was brought on by the memorial of my dear friend who died suddenly last month.  Driving 10 hours and spending an hour and a half at the service was physically and emotionally exhausting.  But, I think it's what I needed.  I also find it interesting that the style of worship I appreciate most is the silent worship of the Friends . . . given how much I talk otherwise.

I was pleased that it was standing room only at the service.  I think it must be comforting to his family to see that so many people made the effort to come spend time remembering this person we all loved.  And, unlike the funeral I attended a couple years ago for a work colleague that left me wondering why I'd never met the person who knew her more intimately knew, it seems from this memorial that we all knew, appreciated, and loved the same person.

Also, this past weekend, the sister of an old friend got married.  I knew this friend when she was a child.  She is the oldest of the children in her family, and it's been fun to watch these children grow up.

Yesterday, while washing strawberries in advance of a meeting, I was reminded of when the young woman, now a bride, was expected.  My friend, her sister, was too young to really understand the concept of gestation and waiting for the baby to arrive.  So, her parents told her that "when the strawberries are here, the baby will come."  Story has it, one morning, my friend came running into her parents' bedroom holding up two, tiny, green strawberries she'd found in the garden (apparently, a morning ritual her parents had previously been unaware of) and insisted that it was time to go to the hospital and get the baby.

I hope she had strawberries at her wedding.  Or on her cake.

The Friendly Thing To Do

With a fair amount of sadness, I am preparing to attend the memorial service of my dear friend who passed away, suddenly, earlier this month.  In the first several days after his death, I checked his facebook page (and that of his mother's) several times a day.  Seeing the messages of condolence trickle in made me feel better that others were grieving the loss of our friend.  Some folks posted memories, others posted pictures.  Probably one of the best things about our electronic world is how memorials can be created for all to see and share.

One aspect of our early days, my friend and I, was our exposure to the Friends (or Quakers) as a religion.  His was much more formal than mine, but there was enough to set us apart from our peers and bind us together.  He returned to the practice as an adult.  My local Friends meeting is more oriented towards anti-war activism, a cause I believe in but isn't really what I need for spiritual retreat.  His memorial will be in the style of the Friends.

Everyone will have their opportunity to share a memory, words of calm and peace, poetry, music, or what moves them in the moment.  I expect it will be an afternoon both laughter and tears.

I've made a hotel reservation so I can spend the night.  I don't want to be rushed as I grieve and say good bye. But, I've also let my friend's mother know I have an extra bed if someone else needs a place to stay in order to attend.  I'm pretty sure my friend would approve.  And, selfishly, I really want as many people as possible to take the time to attend.  I want his mother, his wife, his children to know that we share their grief, that he won't be forgotten, and that we are a community for them.

Lenten dinner

As  you know, we aren't exactly religious in our household.  (The cat enforced worship of the cats doesn't really make a religion.)  But, we do like to give passing nods to religious rituals. . . specifically foods.  So, I like to come up with interesting foods for meatless Fridays of lent.  (We use to host a lenten poker game. . . for easter candy.)

Tonight, I made something that would make a fine meatless meal.

I toasted (in a dry, cast iron pan) two, dried ancho peppers I'd split, (pulled the stem off, and shaken the seeds out of until) they looked blistered.  Then, they were submerged in hot water for 15 minutes.  After removing them from the hot water, I chopped them and threw them in the blender.  Also, in the blender went a ripe tomato, a serrano pepper, half an onion, 2 cloves of garlic, a generous couple of teaspoons of cumin and coriander (ground), and about a tsp of dried oregano (organic, from last summer's garden).  Also, about 1/4-1/3 a mexican beer.  It all got whirred up.

Then, I heated oil in a pan and poured the pepper mixture in and lightly fried/cooked it.  While it bubbled, (for 3-5 minutes) I mashed half a can of drained black beans in a bowl.  Then, added the mashed beans, the rest of the can, and another whole can of drained black beans.  If it looks dry, you can pour in some of the extra beer.  I thought it looked plenty soupy, so I drank the rest of the beer.

I let it bubble, stirring frequently, for about 20-30 minutes until they were less soupy.  I served them in tortillas with yellow rice, cheese, quac, sour cream, and pickled jalapenos.  It was tasty.  Not spicy in the least (without the jalapenos).  And, I have dinner made for tomorrow night, because once again we were stood up by the Chinese red army.