RIP Cookie

I've written about my being shunned from the SMLF.  Then, the ringleader of the shunning did the modern day version of the 7th grade girl freeze-out; she "unfriended" me on social media (and then unfriended me and my office from her office's social media . . . damned unprofessional.)

I will admit, monkeys harbor ill feelings a long time before we're finally able to move on.  And, although my brain tells me that I was a better friend to the ringleader than she EVER was to me and that her deciding we can't even be civil to each other isn't actually a loss . . . I am annoyed that not a single other member of the SMLF has said a single word to me.  It's weird.  Freeze out has been complete.

Being that I like to gaze upon my own navel for hours upon hours, I want to think that they are all just so busy and wrapped up in their lives that they haven't noticed.  Which actually doesn't say much about our friendships in the first place, eh?  I am willing to entertain the notion that they are as perplexed by the turn of events as I am and don't quite know if they've done something to offend me.  But, I reject that theory because ESK, surely, would have either set them straight or said something to me if they'd inquired to her.

Nope, the sad resignation is that I was rejected, shunned, burned, frozen-out, given the boot.

And, this week I realize how complete that boot giving is because the camp that I have been camp cook for over the last several years is happening this week, and I was not invited back to be 'Cookie."
It was volunteer work I truly enjoyed, and am sad to be forced to give up.  And, a bit angry.  You really don't want to make a monkey angry.  As much self control as I frequently exhibit, monkeys are pretty unpredictable and likely to allow nasty quips and sarcasm to take over.  And, there is that who harboring hurts thing.  You think elephants never forget . . . they got nuthin' on monkeys.

Tantrum

The Old Woman would call it "cutting off  your nose to spite your face."

On the heels of my recent "fade away" from the SMLF, I've decided that I'm going to, in the most juvenile way possible, "test" the humans I surround myself with these days.  Basically, I'm going to stop being so freakin' eager to perpetuate the friendship. I'm polite.  I inquire after their families and do the chitchat thing.  But, they need to invite me to actual interactions, like lunch.  I'm feeling the need to have someone reach out to me for once, rather than act like the little brother begging to be included.

I know, the only loser in this game is me.  Although, I'm hoping in the long run I might actually be pleased to see that I am appreciated for my own monkeyness rather than simply one of the group you invite because you can't very well invite one person from an office an not the others . . . especially if you're eating in that office and food that monkey prepared.

So, I'm eating lunch alone a lot these days.  I did have a lunch invite from a friend this week.  Not one of the SMLF, but someone I enjoy conversing with on a regular.  So, it's not all navel gazing and pity parties.  Mostly, but not all.

Finally took the hint

For several years now, I've participated in a lunch group we call SMLF.  It has been said that I was one of the original founders.  I prefer to think that the group, more or less, developed organically.  At its peak, it was a loud, hilarious, fun group that got the members through many a frustration.  We supported each other.  We pulled together for the common good.  We were perceived as having power.  Hee hee.

But, members started taking different jobs and being less available for lunch.  But, we still managed to throw together a rocking baby shower for a member, recently.  But, I'd noticed something of a drifting.

Since the start of the year, I had really noticed that we hardly ever got together any more.  Even the mainstay members were unavailable.

Then weird things came up . . . like a lunch invite that was revoked 10 minutes later.  (The invite was initiated by one member, and then ten minutes later she claimed she wasn't in town and couldn't have lunch.  Very weird.)

Today, I was having lunch across town with an associate.  It's a restaurant the SMLF never goes to because it's so far from most of our offices, the travel time would severely cut into our lunch hours. But, then I looked up to find that the SMLF were having lunch.  I had not been included.   And I assume the choice of restaurant was to minimize the chance of me seeing them.

And, suddenly the weirdness of the past several months made total sense.  This is what they do when someone is no longer welcome . . . they just quietly stop including them.  FUCK.

So, tonight I removed myself from the spider monkey lunch forum list.  There is just a tiny bit of dignity in removing myself . . . after weeks of hints . . . than to go on thinking I'm part of the crowd.

I would like to know what transgression merited this treatment.  Was it the gifts I brought back from my travels? The many treats I've made? The birthday and holiday lunches and baby showers I've organized (and paid for) ?  I think the Old Woman was right . . . I try too hard.  No one likes the kid who wants it too much.  Only, I thought I was just being generous to my friends.  Silly monkey.

SMLF . . . CHARGE!!!

I made lunch for the Spider Monkey Lunch Forum today.  Because, I'm cool like that.  And, because I had an abundance of cherry tomatoes from my garden I needed to use before I take off for the vacay of a lifetime.

Summer time means lots and lots and lots of Chopped Greek Salad.  And, it couldn't be easier.  This giant bowl has quartered cherry tomatoes, two long (farmer's market) cucumbers that I peeled and chopped, a couple small (also farmer's market) purple onions I chopped, and two yellow bell peppers also chopped.  I also like to add a handful of chopped italian parsley if I have it available.  Often, I make a dressing of salt/pepper/finely chopped or grated garlic, fresh lemon juice and olive oil.  But, I'm being lazy today and bought greek dressing in a bottle. 

At lunch, I'll add in greek olives, feta, chick peas, and I bought some spinach in case anyone wants leafy greens with their salad.  I also have regular and roasted red pepper hummus and pita bread.

I'm pretty sure, I could invade the next county over, once my troops are well fed.

First Lessons

On the Splendid Table, this morning, a caller asked Lynn what she should do to teach a group of college bound high school seniors to cook.

This immediately got my interest, because I've been tapped to teach the child of one of the SMLF to cook, one day.

I think I'd start the day with baking chocolate chip cookies.  This would teach about reading a recipe, recipe shorthand, and proper measuring technique.  Also, it would teach about using a mixer, folding, and using the oven.

Next, I'd move on to making Jambalaya.  This teaches to prep all your ingredients in advance, that you don't always need a recipe exactly, and how to saute.  After getting the jambalaya going, I'd continue the saute lesson to demonstrate how to saute a chicken breast and making a pan sauce.  The saute skill also covers cooking veggies and making quick pasta sauces.

Lastly, I'd talk about boiling and braising.  Boiling for noodles and rice and braising for meats.

I think those three skills could easily translate into 4 years of survival, don't you?

Culinary Feats

Several of the SMLF are members of our local Jr. Service League.  Which means, I'm the proud owner of the Jr. Service League Cookbook.  While browsing through it, I was struck by how many recipes called for canned soup.  Thing is, there are very few applications in which I like canned soup, and Phenom doesn't much care for casseroles. . . so there is rarely canned soup in our house.

As a culinary experiment, I decided that tomorrow night, I will make dinner totally from the Jr. Service League Cookbook.  If you combine my food snobbery and Phenom's "selectiveness" this is a harder project than you might think.

Here's the menu:

Healthy Chicken Nuggets (I'm using tenderloins for ease) with honey mustard or spicy BBQ sauce.  Toss tenderloins in olive oil and press bread crumbs mixed with some Parm into the tenderloins.  Bake at 425, 10 -15 minutes.  I have some left over herbed bread sticks that I dried out in the oven and will make into bread crumbs and of course I have some decent Parm.

Steak Fries.  Peel and cut up several large potatoes, toss in olive oil, seasoning, and bake with tenderloins.

Broccoli Salad (classic southern fare)  Cut up 2-3 crowns of broccoli, chop a red onion, and mix dressing: 1/2 cup mayo, 1/3 cup sugar and mixing in one tablespoon at a time, 3 tablespoons of cider vinegar.  Mix all together and stash in fridge for several hours.  Just before serving, mix in some crumbled bacon and golden raisins.  (You can also add in cauliflower, but I'd let it sit in the fridge over night then.)

Easy Turtles.  Take several pretzel butter snaps (square, crosshatch design) and spread them out on some parchment covered cookie sheet.  Top each snap with an unwrapped rolo candy.  Bake 225 for 5 minutes and then gently press into each one a toasted pecan.  I made a test batch today, and I think I'll sprinkle a little sea salt on them after I put the pecan on.  I think they just need an extra hint of salt.  Let them cool some before eating . . . they will be messy otherwise.

Pancakes for supper

Phenom just, tonight, figured out that when I make buttermilk batter in the mornings, it's usually for waffles and when I make the same batter in the evening its for pancakes.  Mainly because pancakes take more time and attention than waffles.

We had that once (maybe twice) a year pancakes for supper tonight.  Here's the recipe:

1 1/4 cups self rising flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tbls sugar (I like to use brown sugar or sugar in the raw)
1 egg
3 tbls melted butter (unsalted)
1 cup (or more) buttermilk (I use whole buttermilk)

Whisk the flour, soda, and sugar together.  Sometimes I'll add a little powdered vanilla.  I have some vanilla sugar I made last fall and that would be good for the 2 tbls too.

melt the butter in the microwave.  Whisk together the egg and butter milk, then whisk in the butter (pouring it in slowly)

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until it's all wet but not all of the lumps are out. If you want, you can add gingerbread spices to the dry ingredients . . . or orange zest to the wet.  I muck around with recipes and this is what convinces the Old Woman I'm going to end up poisoning someone one day.  (Silly Old Woman)

This is the batter I use for waffles.  If I'm making pancakes, I'll add another couple of tablespoons of buttermilk for a just slightly thinner batter.

Tonight, I served them with some maple syrup one of the SMLF gave me for christmas.  (Side note. . . make friends with a human who taps and boils down maple syrup. . . this is almost as important as making friends with people with beach/mtn/lake houses.)  Also, I defrosted the last of the peaches from last summer and warmed them with a couple spoonfuls of the vanilla sugar I mentioned before.  I'm a big fan of fruit on pancakes.  Phenom, not so much.

The Luckiest Little Monkey in the World

It took me a long time to be comfortable enough in my skin to be a good friend to humans.  I spent so much time, as a young monkey, worried that I might be discovered, outed, exposed, that I never really allowed myself to really have a connection with individual humans.  As I spent more time living among humans, I got more comfortable, and was able to be more relaxed with humans.  With a few false starts and wrong turns along the way, I have finally arrived at a place where I feel pretty comfortable with my place in the world.

And, then there are times when I'm just blown away by the capacity humans have to express love and affection.

This week, I have been the recipient of overwhelming love and affection.  I'm still in awe.

The SMLF has decided that I needed a full week of birthday celebrations this week.  Every day this week, a different monkey has been responsible for a different treat.  My yard got "flocked"

There have been lovely lunch time treats too.  Homemade baklava, homemade lollies, and an ice cream sundae bar.  There are still treats to come.  But, most importantly, I am just so appreciative of the great lengths my friends have gone to in order to make me feel loved and appreciated and celebrated.

I am so very spoiled.

My Brain Hurts

I love technology, except for when I don't.  I'm happily flipping through apps and books and music on my new hand-held, wi-fi toy.  But, I've also spent the better part of this week trying to gain access to a central computing system housed in headquarters.  One whole afternoon was spent selecting and answering "security" questions.  Some questions are easy to answer, like "what was the make of your first car?"  Your first car doesn't change.  Other questions, seem too easy to have changeable answers, like "what is your favorite movie?"  If you'd asked me that when I was in school, it would have undoubtedly be Monty Python's Holy Grail.  Other times in my life it might have been "Harvey" . . . now?  I have no idea what I could call my FAVORITE movie.

The happy ending to this story is that today I finally was able to access the data base and start inputting and crunching numbers.  I did this for most of the day, save for a Spider Monkey Lunch and sending the intern out on a cupcake run.

Then, just as the day was winding down, I sat down for an interview with a young journalist.  He's bright and young and earnest.  He thought doing a story on my business would be an interesting puff piece, until I steered him in a direction near and dear to my heart.  Then, we sent him home with a handful of literature and a few names of folks to talk to in order to flesh out his story.  It was a highly satisfying end to a busy day.

Over dinner tonight, I was aware of how my brain seemed to ache from over use.  Funny how thinking is as exhausting as running.

Close enough

I'm not really a Christmas sort of monkey. I don't decorate but I do bake. I like giving gifts (especially to friends' kids . . . and even better if it is something I remember playing with in the lab) but usually can't think of anything I really need in return. I appreciate the opportunity to remember friends, catch up with folks, and relax a bit. But that's about it.

This year, I've gotten to participate, in small ways, in making Christmas good for some other people. And, I have to say, SMLF are some of the most decent, giving people you'll ever want to meet.

First, one of the monkeys has always wanted to enter the local flotilla event. The logistics have always been a problem in the past.

This year, the monkeys or spouses of monkeys made it happen. And, the SMLF gathered on the banks of our local river to be the noisiest monkeys ever. (They even made the mistake of giving me an airhorn, heh heh.) It was a fun and groovy event, and absolutely tickled the monkey to no end to see something she's always wanted to do come together. Also, she totally appreciated that it took a community of folks working together, and that may have been the best part.

The second project is coming together and should happen soon. Many of the SMLF member all get their hair cut by the same person. Her husband has a progressive disease, and she knows that this year is the last Christmas she will have with her husband, the last year her children will spend with their father. She mentioned to one of the monkeys recently that she wanted to set up a specific scene in her yard, with lights, for her husband to enjoy. But, she doesn't have the time or the money.

The monkeys discussed it over lunch, and that afternoon had secured the materials and lights needed to make it happen. The paint is nearly dry . . . and will soon be set up in her yard.

Again, the coming together of a community is what makes me feeling warm and fuzzy this season.

Monkey Christmas

I like how many holidays we can incorporate the word "monkey" into . . . Monkey gras, Monkey Christmas, etc.

The SMLF has decided that instead of exchanging gifts, we'll have a cookie exchange. YAY!! COOKIES!!! The rules are easy . . . we'll have a healthyish lunch and then lay out goodies and people/monkeys can pick a selection that suits their tastes. We also require that recipes be included so we can make a "cookie cook book." We ask that a minimum of 3 dozen of anything be supplied so everyone can have more or less an equal share.

Since I've never ever done anything the easy way, I'm planning on three cookies. Snickerdoodles. Macaroons (some will be choco dipped) and bourbon balls. We seem to have a couple monkeys who don't like chocolate, so a totally non-chocolate recipe was needed. I love the taste of toasted coconut. And who doesn't need 15 bourbon balls at lunch time on a Monday?

Greekish

I have been working up a theme for Monday night suppers with Phenom and The Other Husband. (You do know I have another husband, right? The Other Husband, or TOH, is an old friend who works locally and lives far off. Generally, on Monday nights, TOH spends the night at our house.) The theme is "international foods." We do chinese (thank you Asian grocery for opening recently) or japanese-ish or middle eastern . . . you name it. Tonight, it was Greekish.

I love Greek salad. It is amazingly easy to make.

Chop up:

a packet of cherry or grape tomatoes
cucumber (peeled, seeded)
1/2 a red onion or a bunch of green onions (smallish bits)
a yellow or orange sweet pepper
one bunch of flat leaf parsley

Add in a can of drained chick peas.

Mix a dressing of the juice from a lemon, a garlic clove finely minced or grated, about 1/2 tsp salt, about 1/2 tsp dried oregano (I have lots from my garden), and enough olive oil to make it roughly 2/3 olive oil and 1/3 lemon juice, etc. Shake up and pour about 1/2 over the chopped veg and save the rest.

Chop up some romaine lettuce, in a bowl, toss a handful of the romaine, a couple good serving spoons of the chopped veg, and a drizzle of the remaining dressing. Top with crumbled feta and add some olives on the side.

This is really good with grilled chicken and pitas. I always make enough to take extra for lunch in the office. Monkeys really like Greek Salad.

Baby Shower

There has been something of a baby explosion with the Spider Monkey Lunch Forum. TWO babies this summer. The first baby monkey was the first child for the mommy-monkey, so we went for the traditional sort of baby shower . . . only in monkey style. The theme was "cover your ass" and we gave diaper related gifties. Because we are obsessed with bodily functions.

The baby monkey due to be born this week is the third such event for the mommy, so we decided she probably had all the basics covered. The baby shower event we're having this week is a "feed the fam" baby shower. We're providing food that can be stashed in the freezer and easily reheated. The new mother can serve them in the days when she's caring for the newborn, or she can wait until she returns to work and doesn't have the energy in the evening to prepare a meal.

I've spent the last couple of weeks flipping through my cook books in search of a recipe that is kid friendly (for the kids already on the scene) and would freeze/reheat easily. Today, after much consideration of the options, I picked a recipe for Chili Mac. I, myself, never was fed chili mac as a young monkey, but I hear human children love it. I will deliver it in one of those disposable casserole dishes so the new mother won't have to worry about coordinating returning dishes. And, I'll deliver it with a bag of shredded cheese with an October use-by date.

It seems a tad bland to my taste buds . . . but I suspect a layer of cheese and her young monkeys will be perfectly happy with it.

I make things

The SMLF has formed a subgroup we're calling the Spider Monkey Crafters Co-op. We often speak of ditching our day jobs and pooling together to open our own craft store. We'd not only sell the stuff we make, but the supplies and have classes. Until then, we have to settle for the infrequent craft fair opportunity.

Here is what I made for the Christmas in July craft event next week:




These are hair clasps. I also have head bands and ponytail holders. I'm calling them Cherry Blossoms because a woman named Cherry taught me how to crochet flowers.

Tales of Old

I had a fun conversation last night with one of my SMLF friends. She is in the midst of a major, national conference. She and her boss, and her boss's boss are in attendance. In the course of a discussion over a political issue, the influence of individual members of the SMLF came up. The boss of the boss, who is kinda a social climbing tool, seemed ready to dismiss the SMLF as nothing more than silly people (and monkey) being silly together.

Then, the boss chimed in and pointed out several of our good deeds . . . including recently when we took on a charitable event sponsored by their company. She pointed out that after the SMLF started promoting it, their participation numbers quadrupled. There were other deeds recounted.

The boss of the boss, clearly wondering why she wasn't a member, was also taken aback to learn the identity of our newest member . . . as well as some of the folks who have been guests at our table. When she asked how we started, my friend and her boss put the blame on me. They recounted how I pulled together several leaders within our community for regular meetings, and working together to achieve mutual goals within our community.

To hear them tell it, it kinda sounds like the way the kiwanis got started. Except we're not opposed to the evils of drink.

Imagine, someday in the future, your town might also have a SMLF. . . and then things will really hop! I think this calls for a funny hat and salute!

The missing gene, uncovered

I've written of my gang before . . . the Spider Monkey's Lunch Forum. Here's this bit of baby monkey cuteness.

Several of the spider monkeys already have children. Several are waiting for the day to have their own. More or less, we regard all SMLF offspring mutual "baby monkeys."

One member of our gang has a daughter who is truly a 'mini-me' child. She literally is the spitting image of her mother. We have oft teased that monkey that her husband, clearly, contributed no DNA to the creation of that child.

Tomorrow, we are celebrating a Monkey Birthday. A 30th birthday at that! One thing we monkeys do particularly well is celebrate birthdays within the gang.

It is also field day for the local elementary school. So, the Mini-me monkey will join us for lunch after the field day activities are completed.

Her mother told her that she'd be joining us. The child was sad. Apparently, there is a picnic scheduled for after the field day. The mother said "but, the lady who does face painting is going to be there, and she's going to be making balloon animals." And the child still thought perhaps the picnic would be more fun. Then, the mother said, "but I already told your teacher I was going to sign you out."

At this, Mini-me brightened! "Sign me out?" she asked. "Yes, sign you out" her mother confirmed. Suddenly, the picnic held no attraction at all. And the child whispered "I've always wanted to be signed out."

When I heard this story, I knew what genes the father contributed. . . the nerd genes.