The Old Woman would call it "cutting off your nose to spite your face."
On the heels of my recent "fade away" from the SMLF, I've decided that I'm going to, in the most juvenile way possible, "test" the humans I surround myself with these days. Basically, I'm going to stop being so freakin' eager to perpetuate the friendship. I'm polite. I inquire after their families and do the chitchat thing. But, they need to invite me to actual interactions, like lunch. I'm feeling the need to have someone reach out to me for once, rather than act like the little brother begging to be included.
I know, the only loser in this game is me. Although, I'm hoping in the long run I might actually be pleased to see that I am appreciated for my own monkeyness rather than simply one of the group you invite because you can't very well invite one person from an office an not the others . . . especially if you're eating in that office and food that monkey prepared.
So, I'm eating lunch alone a lot these days. I did have a lunch invite from a friend this week. Not one of the SMLF, but someone I enjoy conversing with on a regular. So, it's not all navel gazing and pity parties. Mostly, but not all.