Played

The other evening, while attempting to be social, a friend who has recently gone through a personal crisis said to me "Phenom told me to tell you when I'd need some meals .  .  . I'll need some next week."

Okay.  Phenom had not bothered to mention this offer had been made before, but it is the sort of thing I do.

Today, I made a double batch of Cinncinati style chili and roasted a chicken.  I gathered all the toppings for the Cinncinati chili (cheese, onion, oyster crackers, kidney beans).  At some point, the Phenom asked why I was making so much food, and when are we going to eat that chicken?

I told him I'd been informed that an offer of meals had been made.  Phenom says no . . . that the offer of "anything we can do to help" was made.

On one monkey shaped hand, I am a tad startled by the forwardness of the request. But, mostly I'm thinking there is a lesson in this for me.  Last year when I was so sick and in and out of the hospital, many people offered assistance to us and each and every time, we turned it down.  Most of the time, it was vague "let us know" type offers, but there were some very specific offers . . . like a friend who saw the Phenom picking up our take out dinner and offered/really wanted to pay for it.

Looking back, we turned those offers down because we were a tad embarassed.  We never quite wrapped our brains around needing help.  And, I realize now, it was a mistake.  We should let people help us  Someday, they might not offer.  We're always tremendously helpful to others, and we need to learn to allow others to return the favor.  That being said, do leave it to the afflicted to figure out what they need you to do.  Figure out something, creatively, and do it.

Like the gift certificate to a local restaurant I tucked into the door of a friend whose mother passed away this week.  My friend has spent the last week sitting at her bedside, administering hourly pain meds . . . a good, hot meal she could just pick up and even have left overs the next day, was needed.  (She lives alone, and much like us has a really annoying independent streak. )  I find that if nothing else, a pizza gift certificate can always be used.  And cookies.  Even if the afflicted doesn't eat them, the people around will.

Status?

This weekend, I received a designer handbag as a gift.  It is very pretty, has plenty of pockets, and is a bright color monkeys find fetching.  It was a lovely and thoughtful gift.  (Truth be told, I carry a lot of candy with me. And lip goos . . . lots and lots of lip goo.)

But, I'm not actually a designer handbag sort of monkey.  Most of my handbags, I bought from Ebay. (Disclaimer, I do have a knock off Prada handbag I purchased on the streets of DC but the point was more to bargain the guy down to the price I wanted to pay.  I actually don't recall what he was asking because I told him what I wanted to pay, stuck to it, and was willing to walk away in order to get him to relent.  The Phenom was both horrified and impressed.)

I carried my new designer bag to work with me today, and propped it up on a shelf behind my desk.  And, no one noticed it.  No one commented.  I thought the whole point to a designer bag was to elicit comment from other humans.   Otherwise, wouldn't one of my ebay purchases be as good?

The Phenom asked what others thought of the new bag.  I think he was disappointed, too, that this new acquisition didn't immediately create some level of status for me.  Sigh.  Oh well, I have a very important meeting with very important people later this week . . . one I normally break out the knock off Prada for . . . so perhaps I'll find myself hoisted up the social ladder all due to this gift.  We can hope, right?

CODE RED

Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit.  They may be on to me.

In the last of my pre-op appointments yesterday, the doctor used the phrase "unpredictable anatomy" in discussing the surgery.

They haven't said anything, hinted around, or even asked pointed questions that would lead me to think they have figured out I'm a monkey.  But, (and it's a big butt, pa-dum-dum) I'll be out cold and they will be mucking around . . . let's just hope that they will be focused enough on the surgery itself they won't start to realize that everything looks mostly familiar but just a little off.

If this is my last post, you'll know they figured it out and I'm stuck in a cage in a lab in an unknown government facility.  There won't likely be any fancy monkey sanctuary retirement for me.  It will be solitary confinement, for sure.

Commie

I suspect my neighbors think we're commies.  Largely, because we don't ever decorate for holidays.  No plastic inflatable cupids in the yard on Valentine's day.  No wreaths on the door at Christmas.  No flags draped over everything for the patriotic holidays.

Heck, this year a combination of low flying bats and the insanely noisy neighbors (children in pool + constant yelling at said children from adults) found us watching the town fireworks from the comfort of our couch, through the open back door.

I just don't see the point in putting the same decorations year after year, only to be pointed and laughed at when they then remain up for an inappropriately long time after the holiday.

And, I'd rather be thought of as a commie than outed as an escaped monkey.

Civic Duties

Finally, I can bring up what I've been involved with over the past week.  A TRIAL.  And, it was as much like what you see on television as lizards are like apples.  The victim and the accused in this case were roughly the same age, but had very different life choices.  Which is kinda why one of them will likely spend the rest of their lives in prison.

This case involved guns, stolen cars, crimes committed in four different jurisdictions, and violence.  And, it was the first of several trials this particular accused will be facing.  Just after a series of guilty verdicts were announced, we were treated to a hearing about how this accused committed this particular set of crimes while out on bond for still other crimes.  And, apparently those crimes were committed while he was out on bond on yet other crimes.  A rabbit hole of criminal activities.

I've watched lots of television coverage of notorious trials.  I lost nearly a summer to the murder trial of the author Mike Peterson.  I use to watch court tv like other kids watched mtv.  But, I still wasn't prepared for the butt-numbing boring factor.  At least there were plenty of breaks in the action to keep everyone awake.

At the end of it all, I'm still pretty amazed that the really complex system, with so many differing parts, actually works.

Be Generous

It is the holiday time again. Along with planning parties, family events, huge meals, and the whatnot, how about including an act of generosity, too?

I know there are lots of folks with their hands out, and it's really easy to get pulled into stories about bad charities or people who hop from charity to charity. (Thank you facebook for making everyone just a bit more cynical about charities . . . and most folks looking for food boxes at the holidays aren't driving to the food bank in a 50K car.)

But, you can find a variety of ways to help out . . . and you can tailor your generosity to an issue near and dear to your heart. Did you have a grandmother who spent her final days at home with hospice care? What about adopting another hospice family and providing a homemade meal for them while they face the end of a loved one's life? Were you a kid who learned respect on the basketball court of your local Y? How about donating new basketballs, footballs, baseballs, and what-have-you to your local youth shelter? Look around your community, I promise there are many different ways to contribute without just giving a check.

This week, our company is encouraging our employees to support a local group of kids' holiday meal. These kids all come from a school that is like 110% free lunches. The local college is preparing a holiday meal to serve to the kids. They have asked for donations of food. I'm making a couple chocolate cakes. ESK is making a crazy amount of mashed potatoes. I have also pulled some homemade stock out of the freezer and will make gravy for ESK's potatoes.

Now, go be generous in your own special way!

Practically Perfect Day

I actually slept last night, thanks to a decongestant.

I had an early morning drive half way across the state for a meeting, but just a few miles from my destination, I passed a town in which one of my favorite craftspeople lives. I instantly made a plan to duck out of my meeting early and pay him a visit.

At my meeting, I got two "prizes" for being a smarty pants.

And, the meeting ended early, so no need to duck out. I spent a couple hundred dollars buying pottery from some of my favorite crafters.

Then, I realized that I could get home faster heading the opposite direction from whence I came, but it was a scenic route. I got a few moments to enjoy a crisp fall day and brilliant color. I plugged in my iPod and belted out tunes at the top of my lungs.

I've got a little situation in my life that is worthy of grieving, but I haven't had the time. So, I was able to express a bit of irrational emotion in the privacy of my car.

When I got back into town, I was in time to hit up my polling place. I've never missed an opportunity to vote since wrangling a voter registration card for myself. As opposed to when I normally go, in the mornings, the polls were nearly deserted so I could chat with the folks working the polls. All of the folks in my polling place live in my immediate community and this adds to the sense of belonging that comes from participating in the democratic process.

When I returned to my home, I had a thank you note from a friend's little boy. His parents wrote the body of the note, but he signed his name . . . for the first time in correspondence to me. It absolutely made my day. There was a time when it was believed he would never have this ability. So, it is even more special to me.

All Time Faves

"I must say, I prefer pleasant."

This morning, I'm wasting some time chatting with an old friend. We have moved on to the issue of our pop culture references. Sadly (or perhaps not), we both seem to draw from classic, old movies a lot. It use to annoy the Old Woman that I'd happily spend a Saturday afternoon watching old, black and white, "b" movies, as she called them.

When I first started working with ESK, I had to explain the term "gaslighting" to her.

My all time favorite movies include:

Harvey (the opening quote is a line from Harvey)
An Affair to Remember (the Cary Grant/Deborah Kerr version)
The Women
Arsenic and Old Lace
Monty Python's The Holy Grail

Now you understand just a little bit better.

The In Crowd

A couple of years ago, I wrote about our brief inclusion into the popular kids' club. We'd made friends with one of those super smart types, and somehow found ourselves in the whirlwind of parties and fetes and deep discussions about the world. And, then our friends moved on and our popularity sank back to more accustomed levels.

This weekend, we'll be dipping our toes back into the popular crowd. We've been invited up to the summer home of the Smart People, and will be attending a party and a college ball game, and will once again be "in."

This trip is a couple of firsts for me too. I've never been to the town where we'll be visiting. Also, I've never attended a college football game for the team playing. And, we'll be tailgating with the alums who donate the big bucks.

And, oddly, I've not even started to worry about what I'll wear.

Wait? I was suppose to be embarassed?

Oops.

I was reading an article today about extreme couponing. Yes, the use of coupons has become its own verb.

I remember the Old Woman being rather pleased with herself, when I was a young monkey, for never paying more than $.09 for a tube of toothpaste. Whereas she would never rate with the folks being written up on the interwebs today, she had a pretty good knack for coupons back in the day. Of course, back then, the lesson I learned was "if you can save a few dollars on coupons, you essentially are getting the ice cream for free."

And, that's more or less how I view buying the less expensive option or using coupons . . . it totally justifies buying ice cream. (And, given that I'm not actually a big fan of ice cream, I do it all for the Phenom who would make BR chocolate chip his death row meal.)

So, I'm reading about how college kids are slashing their parents grocery bills by 75% as their house hold contribution when I read a comment about how the trend of extreme couponing and the economy has helped humans shed their embarrassment over using coupons.

Huh? This is why I'll never truly fit in as a human. It never occurred to me that I should be chagrined for wanting to save $.50 on tomatoes. sigh.

Attempt Number One

Trying to not let another year of resolutions fall by the wayside, and the residual self loathing (hahahaha . . . you thought I could "self loathe" . . . that's rich) take hold, I listened to some new-to-me music yesterday, thank you Pandora.

I pulled up Pandora and typed in Will.i.am into my stations. And, in true dork fashion (yes, ESK laughed at me) I took notes for you. First, I heard a Rihanna song. This may be the first time I was aware I was listening to her. It was dancy but I had to tell myself to stop thinking too deeply about the cultural/social meaning behind her saying she needed to be rescued rather than being the active agent of her own life. (Double dork, eh?) I heard the song Single Ladies for the first time that wasn't a parody. I heard an Usher song. Again, all pretty dancy stuff. I totally see that I'd know these songs if I were still of the age where hanging out, going dancing, and waiting for my life to start were my main activities in life.

A couple artists I heard that were totally new to me (I'd never even heard of them) included, OneRepublic, Citizen Cope, and David Guetta. The Guetta song was catchy and while not really paying attention to it, I thought I liked it. Then I realized that the subject matter of the song was that he was extolling the attributes of a woman he admired and wanted to do her justice without disrespecting her. He settled on describing her as a "sexy bitch" and his admiration was wholly superficial. Years and years of listening to folk music and war protest music and feminist music has destroyed my ability to just listen and ignore the words. Or, maybe I really am too old.