Ya'll know I have "another husband", right? He's actually a colleague of The Phenom and spends one night a week in our home because he lives somewhere else but has to work with Phenom two days a week and stays with us the night between.
This has been the arrangement for years and years and I've taken to referring to him as "my other husband."
Other Husband is very sincere and decent. Which brings out the childish in me and Phenom. Specifically, we like mild forms of torture. Generally food related torture.
Add to tonight's torture that Other Husband celebrated a birthday recently.
I made one of my more difficult dinners. I fired up the grill and made hoisin glazed pork tenderloins (with double the sauce because I LURVE it.) I made an Asian slaw and rice. But, the real treat was that Phenom insisted on getting a pint of Other Husband's favorite ice cream (butter pecan) and making him eat the entire pint.
Phenom finished his pint of ice cream by the time Other Husband was 1/4-1/3 the way through his.
By the end, Other husband was using the now empty ice cream container to prop up his head and moaning softly.
At this point, Phenom and I start trying to "implant" a nightmare in Other Husband's psyche. A story of a mustachioed, machete welding pecan chasing Other Husband around their work place. I told him that if he actually has this dream, he should text me in the middle of the night with "damn you" so I can smile and fall back asleep knowing our experiment worked.
I'm pretty sure the UN would have issues with our human rights violations, if we'd ever made declaring our home a sovereign official.