Saturday, November 03, 2012

Booze Fairy

Other humans make "new year's resolutions."  I tend to make "new year's passing thoughts."  I don't ever really take them too seriously, but I demonstrate a strange level of commitment.

For several years, my "new year's passing thought" was that I wanted to have a hot Krispy Kreme.  These things are the reason all southerners will die of heart failure at the age of 54, but darn-tootin', they went down happy.  Finally, my friend WSRandom took matters into her own hands (and there might have been some drunken mention of moving on to "being a nicer monkey" once I achieved this goal) and kidnapped me and Phenom one night, drove us to a neighboring town, and got us hot Krispy Kremes and paper hats.

Lately, my "new year's passing thought" has been to reduce the number of bottles in my liquor cabinet.  Like all southerners, I keep the booze in the cabinet over the stove.  It's handy, but out of sight.  And, like any good failed chemist, I have a variety of bottles that were purchased to make a specific drink, and then tucked away . . . taking up precious space that could be storing more types of tequila.

Last year. I realized that I'm pretty much losing this battle.  Since creating this "passing thought, " my booze stash has GROWN from the cabinet over the stove to include another cabinet . . . one that is tall enough to store the taller bottles.  Then, last christmas, handles of rum and brandy were stashed in a linen closet.  Followed, this summer, by half a dozen Pimm's bottles.  (We can't get Pimm's locally, so we have to buy in bulk when we find it . . . don't judge.)

Today, while hunting for a couple of baskets to deliver treats for a charity event, I found a bottle of cognac in the linen closet.  Neither Phenom nor I remember buying the cognac.  And, given our recent addiction to French 75s, we would have remembered a stash of cognac.  We have decided it was left by the booze fairy.  THANKS BOOZE FAIRY!

And, the thing that keeps me from worrying that people might think I had a wee drinking problem should someone have to clean out my home after an untimely end is that I don't yet have a stash of booze in the bathroom.  Yet.

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