Thursday, December 23, 2010

Not suited for human company

I'm not even drunk yet, but I seem to be finding myself slipping into the maudlin. I got a down right chipper phone call from an old friend who has been struggling this year . . . it seems a corner may have been turned and there is a more positive outlook. But, I can't help but temper my enthusiasm for the upswing with fears that it might just be temporary.

Other friends are facing the first christmas holiday since losing a parent, and I can't help but temper my enthusiasm for my plans with thoughts of how it's a bittersweet time for them.

Another friend lost her beloved grandmother yesterday and I just tear up at the thought. I know that in any given year, any of us might be the ones facing the loss of a dear one.

And, just now, I got an email from a person I knew 100 years ago, briefly. I couldn't help but read his very sweet holiday note and think "it kinda sounds like a suicidal farewell."

See . . . despite cheer and comfort around me . . . I have to find a way to make it all sad. Probably ought to stay away from the eggnog and start creating in my kitchen soon . . . cooking always puts me in a better spirit. And, maybe a few more Avec Eric videos.

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