It started with Ed McMahon and has moved on to the lotto. I actually had a chance with Ed . . . I returned the entries with the right stickers carefully applied to the right squares. I don't buy lotto tickets, so this is purely the stuff of fantasy. But, I think I could win massive millions of dollars and it not ruin me as a monkey.
I have a very specific plan for what I'd do with my huge lotto win. First, it needs to be a gobsmacking amount . . . like a few hundred million. I like to start the fantasy in the ballpark of 200-250 million. (I'd like to be a high maintenance monkey) I need the massive win because you ALWAYS take the cash up front and not the annual payment. You could be abducted by aliens any day . . . and if you are, the annual payment does no one any good.
So, my fantasy starts with the ginormous check for 100 million dollars. First thing, I'd establish a non-profit with about 10 million. I would use my non-profit for good works of my own choosing. Next, I've found a house in New Orleans I will buy for 2.25 million. It is on Royal Street and has over 4500 square feet and a veranda that wraps around the house and a huge gourmet kitchen.
The next part of the fantasy hits a snag. The Phenom insists that we will not LIVE in NOLA. I say we should . . . it will be much easier to be barflies, if you know, we lived near bars. I also have generously allowed for a total house budget of 5 million. The Phenom says no. The Phenom says that if we spend 2.25 million the house, we'll furnish it with lawn chairs from walgreens. I think I need to have a few choice items from this place. I can live without the crystal living room suite . . . but a tiffany lamp would be lovely, no?
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