The scene: I was exceptionally tired as a result of old friends/large pot of coffee late at night when really I'm more of a recreational coffee drinker/and a three AM phone call.
Also consider that the Old Woman taught me a few little games to play with the humans. When going to court - dress as if you were going to church because judges like that. When taking a test, dress really nice because it will look like you are well rested and ready to take the test and you will stand out by contrast with the harried and pajama-ed others around you. And, when you are doing business with the bank, don't dress up too much. She says that if bankers think you have lots of money to throw away on clothes and jewelry - there will be no end of them trying to get you to give them your money on flight by night ideas. She says it's much better to look as if you work hard for your money and that you don't spend it frivolously.
So, this morning, I find myself in need of conducting some rather serious bank business. You know - the sort that forces you to actually go into the bank rather than buzz by the window -- and not just in the bank - but the big, MAIN DOWNTOWN branch.
I was wearing my best jeans - a polo t-shirt. And, given my extreme state of being tired - I slipped on the farting shoes.
Let me tell you . . . . the farting is so much more impressive when it's all the way through the main, downtown branch of the bank with it's marble floors and all. Good thing I only have to do this sort of business once a year.