more lies to confess

While I was away, I lied. I lied a lot.

Here are some of the more memorable ones. I say memorable because I apparently lied so much I can't even remember all of them. Which, of course, is to problem with lying in the first place.

Anyway, no more stalling:

1) the old woman didn't bite my finger; neither did the old man. I'm sorry I had to go along with the whole suggestion that you be "put down, heads chopped off, and examined for rabies" -- but, I wasn't ready to confess the lie just yet. (disclaimer: no old people were actually hurt in the course of that lie.)

2) The old woman did not actually tell me to color in the Phenom's eyebrows with mascara.

3) The old folks don't actually perform minor surgeries on their deck for the uninsured.

4) When I worked at the local hospital, I wasn't a brain surgeon. Well, at least that's what the hospital makes me say to the authority types.

5) I didn't follow the recipe to the letter. I know I said I did, but ya'll wouldn't have eaten it if you thought I'd tinkered with it. And, I remind you, you all did like it.

The Phenom can't remember any of the lies. That means that either I didn't tell as many as I thought or they weren't all that good in the first place.