Thanksgiving, updates

Spent a wonderfilled holiday with friends. Our friends have a 4 year old child who has decided that The Phenom is the best toy ever made. Child decided that her plastic, pull-puppy should want to have supper with the rest of us. Child fed carrots to puppy. Child refused to try any of the spectacular thanksgiving feast our friends prepared, save a bite of turkey and several pumpkin muffins. However, Child did announce later, after seeing other people eating pizza, "I'm very hungry, and pizza is good for you." Child's mother said that she worries that DSS is listening when Child says such things.

DSS is a branch of local governments that regulate social services and investigate child and elder abuse. Government groups have given DSS the authority to intervene in parenting and even remove children from a home if there is sufficient reason to worry that a child is in danger of being harmed, maimed, or killed.

Interestingly enough, in a conversation with a college friend (faithful readers will recognize "miss grassy creek" from the comments) - she also had a story in which she expressed concern that DSS would see a behavior and come to take her child. In her case, she was leaving a store called "Belks" (the name becomes important later in the story) with her child (who is soon to be 5 years old) and the child ran out towards the parking lot. Miss Grassy Creek said that she couldn't grab the child in time to prevent her from running into traffic, so she swatted the child on the head, which knocked her to her knees - but stopped her forward motion. Miss Grassy Creek said she waited for three days for the DSS people to come take her child. (She assumed there were cameras which caught the swat.) Now her child has taken to telling people that her momma will "beat her down."

Miss Grassy Creek told a friend at a social gathering about it, and expressed how guilty she'd been feeling. The friend laughed and said, and please know I'm quoting here, "you can't grow up in the South if you haven't had your ass beaten in Belks." He then announced to the rest of the party "How many of you folks had your asses beat in Belks as kids?" and every single person at the party raised their hands. Miss Grassy Creek asked a group of children she works with if they had ever been beaten in Belks, and she reports that every last one of them raised their hands.

I asked The Phenom if there had been a beating in Belks -- having also been reared in the South, and The Phenom said "I don't remember, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen."

I wonder what other sorts of rights of passage human children must pass through before growing up. Being a monkey raised in a lab, I'm a bit mystified over such rituals. Please, without ever advertising any web sites that will gross me out or convince me to refinance my home, let me know what other rites you people endured.

Remember the kitten? Her favorite game is to get into the bathtub and splash around in the water. She also likes to shread paper. I sometimes worry that having a monkey as her primary care giver has warped her development and given her rather un-cat-like habits.

Lastly, today, while working on the annual christmas card bonanza and watching The Phenom rake our yard, I realized that I really am quite a lucky monkey - I have a grand life and everything I've ever wanted and more. I'm glad I appreciate it now and hope that I don't ever lose it. I think the reason I was so threatened by the snarky person who tried to turn The Phenom's affections earlier this year is because it took me so long to have the life I have - and it really is worth protecting and fighting to keep.

I think the egg nog is wearing off. I need to find more before you are forced to endure me singing carols -- monkeys are really terrible at singing.