Lies I've told

The Phenom will tell you that I lie all the time. I will tell you that it's a bloody lie.

Last night, while visiting very good friends, I made a bold statement "Monkeys don't wear underpants." I realized immediately that I was telling a lie. Maybe I do lie all the time. Of course, that could also be a lie.

Anyway, I've decided to come clean on a few lies. This may take a few posts to get most or all of them off my monkey back. But, here are the ones that stand out today.

If you aren't advertising the Big Booty Thong site, I'd happily consider posting any lies you folks might want to confess to also. Confession is good for the soul.

Lies:

1) I was a referee in the NFL

2) I played in the NFL

3) I dated anyone currently playing in the NFL, MLB, or NBA

4) I went to jr./sr. high school with anyone currently playing in the NFL, MLB, or NBA and that we regularly gave said person "swirlies."

5) That I have ever spit off a major landmark building in any country.

6) I wear underwear.

7) I didn't do it, and I was no where near it when it happened.

8) I've been an undercover agent in the service of any world leader.

9) I meant for it to look like that.

10) I played drums for the Rolling Stones.

11) I am a trained medical professional.

12) Trust me.