I finally was discharged on Wednesday. The trip home was long and exhausting. I did as little as possible on Thursday. Then, Friday, when I got up to bathe and put on fresh clothes, I became suddenly overwhelmed with it all and just started crying. It was an ugly cry. But it was needed. I had a big, scary surgery and then had absolutely no control over what happened to me for a period of time. The first several days, post-surgery, my pain meds didn't get adjusted properly, which just made it harder.
Being at home means I have to find a totally new way of getting in and out of bed, routines for basic functions . . . which is also exhausting. And, having this wound vac machine deciding ONLY to beep and go nuts in the MIDDLE of the night doesn't help.
But, after the bit of a breakdown, I spent a whole day pretty much just sleeping. And, that seems to have made a huge difference. My brain feels like it is starting to wake up some. Which is good, because I have some work that must get done this next week.
But, at least I'm not in some hospital gown that will not stay on my shoulders, no matter what I do. Not that monkeys have much dignity to begin with . . . but still.
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