Dear Interns,

When you are engaged and interested and committed, we couldn't love you more,

However, if you are some slacker who is just trying to do the minimum to get your diploma so you can free load off your mama and have a higher level of whining because no one will give you a job worthy of your degree . . . by this time in the semester, please know we pretty much hate you.

We recruit interns because a) we have a project that requires extra personnel, b) we truly believe one way our agency can "give back" is through helping the next generation get that "work experience" that will help them get a job and c) we believe that if you learn good, professional habits before you graduate, it will help you avoid problems with your first "real" job.

But, please know that interns represent MORE work for our staff . . . not less.  We work hard to create an experience that will allow you to find ways to apply what you learned in your classes in a real world setting.  Many of the assignments we give you are more about giving you items for a portfolio you can use to demonstrate your abilities to your future employers.  (Really, we could care less about putting up bulletin boards at the local college . . . that's purely for you.)

You should know, our staff is always going to be more loyal to ourselves than to you.  And, you should understand that we communicate . . . a lot.  When you're standing at the doorway of my office giving me some song and dance about how another employee gave you instructions different than what I gave you. . . you should understand that while you're dancing around, I'm likely instant messaging with the staff person you're putting all the blame on and getting the truth.  If you say that you did call in "sick" but that another employee wasn't answering her phone, we can look and see if you ever called.

Also, that employee all of you slacker interns seem to think is the "sympathetic" one . . . you should understand that she generally loses her patience with you before I do.  Just because she's kind, doesn't mean she buys your line of BS.

Lastly, everyday you should remember that we will evaluate you for your grade.  We get together as a full staff to evaluate interns.  We share our various perceptions and experiences with your work, work ethic.  If you were a slacker.  If you lied to us.  If you didn't get your work done.  IT ALL GOES ON YOUR EVALUATION.

Just sayin' . . .