The Old Woman always told me that once suicide becomes a real option in a person's life, every time life gets hard, those thoughts of suicide become one more thing you have to struggle against.
I have a dear friend who says he has been suicidal since he was 12 years old. He and I have known each other forever. We bonded over our wretched early beginnings.
First, there was trying to open up the veins in his arm. Later, a failed attempt at relaxing into a noose. (A noose, he told me, was tied perfectly.) Then a bottle of pills. More recently, trying to drink a lethal amount of cheap booze.
But, this week, pills did the trick. And, I'm heart broken.