Thursday, February 28, 2013

Strange Territory

At the end of the BBC series of Pride and Prejudice, when Mr. Darcy's aunt is furious that Lizzy won't promise to never become engaged to Mr. Darcy, she drives off with the weak "I send no greetings to your mother" as if this is the final possible insult she has left.  I totally pulled a more subtle form of "I send no greetings" this week.

Back story: I have an ex that I am fairly convinced has spent much of their adult life in prison.  I have no real proof of this.  But, a combination of their fairly selfish and amoral approach to life as a youth and their total disappearance from public records supported this assumption.  I'm even more convinced with their sudden reappearance.  First, it was a mid-January family Christmas celebration photo posted by a sibling.  Then, it was mention made by their mother in reference to a family situation in social media.  (I might add that this person hasn't appeared in family gathering photos, including holiday gatherings prior to the current year and hasn't been mentioned by family members in their family related social media posts until now.)

This is the ex I credit with teaching me what I did not want in a partner and what I would not accept in my own life.  The great lesson I learned from this ex is that I can accept and love and support people with very different values or lifestyle choices from mine, but I don't have to sleep with them in order to prove that I'm open minded and accepting. 

And, yesterday, a sibling of this ex sent me an email.  The email extended greetings and inquired about the general state of my life from the ex. 

I responded to the sibling along the lines of the communications we've shared over the past several years . . . and I noted that I am quite satisfied with my life.  But, I sent no greetings. 

We'll see where this goes.  I'm not sure how I feel about having any relationship, even extended through another friend, with this ex.  Just too much in the past that isn't worth dredging up.

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