Friday, February 24, 2012


Today, between checking facebook a million times for a big announcement, I realized that ya'll might need a follow up/prequel to the story yesterday.

First of all, one of the plaster crotches is currently in a trash bag in the trunk of my car.

Several years ago, we had neighbors who, at one time, had been very wealthy.  They actually had a butler.  As they aged, and their children became impatient for their inheritance, there was a slow decline in their socio-economic status.  Eventually, the old man was left and needed to be placed in nursing care.  The house had been mortgaged a couple of times by the children, and there was little hope of selling it.  At one point, the children went in, laid claim to the valuables, and left one holy mess behind.  The realtor responsible for the house told them that they had to hire cleaners before she would show the house.

So, they hired a crew of people to haul everything in the house out, and dump it on the front lawn.  Suddenly, we were living next door to a landfill.  People were coming by, to loot, day and night.  Let me tell you, for a monkey with a finely tuned sense of paranoia, it wasn't fun.

Then, on a Friday afternoon, as I was pulling into my driveway, I saw a foot sticking out of a large pile.  My first thought was that some poor looter had fallen in and couldn't get out.  After weighing my options, I was compelled to be the good citizen and wander over to offer assistance.  That's when I found that the foot was actually part of a large, male, prosthetic leg.

Later, that evening, while at a party, I retold this story and several of the people present decided that they must have the leg.  They hopped in a car and drove over and LUCK! the leg was still there.  Now, when this group gathers, the leg is present and appropriately decorated.  The keeper of the leg and I discussed getting more body parts.  But, he wanted to troll ebay for them.  I felt that they should be found items.

Which is why I now have a crotch in the back of my car.  The Leg now has hips.

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