Giving In

Last election, I made a thoughtful and well reasoned choice. I looked at the platforms of the candidates, my own thoughts/opinions on the world, and then voted for the person I thought would make the better leader in a time of high stress.

I won't be doing that again. Clearly, being well reasoned and smart is counter to the functioning of the average voter these days. So, I have decided to vote for The Donald.

Now, I have a zoologist friend who insists that a blond man can never be president . . . some elaborate story about how men are constantly engaged in a perpetual dick measuring contest and how blond pubic hairs make one's "junk" appear less impressive than darker hair.

And, The Donald has pretty appalling hair on his noggin, too. But, we know he's not paying some hairdresser hundreds of dollars to cut his hair in airplane hangers.

I think The Donald should change the title of president to The Donald of the United States . . .

If the country is gonna go down stupid, I guess I'm not going to fight it any longer and go down with them.