They All Want Me

Probably not. Really probably not. But it's nice to dream, right.

First off . . . an old friend I haven't seen in person for over 10 years has started calling out of the blue. I'm not quite sure why. Every time we talk, I am fervently hoping that he isn't about to tell me he's having an affair and/or thinking of leaving his wife. I've been treated to this fun little confidence a bit too much for my taste lately. To take the ick factor off, I joke that he wants me.

Secondly, I've always had a bit of a crush on mail men. As a recently rescued monkey, the shift in the daily routine from tasks to fun was marked by the arrival of the post. And, being a cute, fun monkey, (and really who doesn't love monkeys?) the mailman would scribble my name on some flyer or bit of junk each day to insure I got mail. Over the years, my flirtation with mailmen has only gotten worse. I actually baked cookies for my mailman's birthday once . . . but then I accidentally "outed" him (privately . . . he and I had both recently been in NOLA and I recognized the name of the bar he mentioned liking . . . it happened to be a gay bar . . . and I think it embarrassed him that I knew. He should have known better.) and he stopped coming round so much. (Although, he has recently opened a shoe shop and was very sweet to me when I visited once . . . so perhaps he's less worried about the opinions of the small minded?)

Anyway, I now have a screamingly funny lady mail carrier. And, yes, I still flirt with her . . . but it somehow seems less intense.

So, I've moved up . . . I now flirt with the UPS man. And, he seems to like it. He will even ask, when delivering to my office, if I have anything that will take him by my home later in the evening. And, not in a stalkery way either.

I just refer to UPS packages as "gifts from my boyfriend" now. Phenom seems fine with that . . . since Chester is always willing to be our chaperone.