Life Lessons

I'm back from my mission to check in on the Old People. The Old Woman is out of the hospital, and apparently gave them quite a bit of trouble. I think the exact phrase a nurse used, when asked if she were dying, was that she was "too willful to be dying." I like that. I'm pretty sure that's the shape I'll be in one day too.

There is a fair amount of mental confusion which is troubling, and because the Old Man has been so lovingly taken care of by the Old Woman for so many years, he just isn't really equipped to do what needs to be done to make sure she doesn't harm herself.

I fixed quite a bit of food. Meatloaf, mac and cheese (with the crispy buttered bread crumbs on top) and sauteed chicken breasts and easy to pull together salad makings. I also left a batch of oatmeal cookies (the kind she made for me when I was a young monkey. Anyone who took driver's ed with me will remember them because she sent a batch in every day.) and a peach pie.

I was sad and weepy on the drive home. I intentionally stayed away from sad music. While I was making dinner one night, she tried to reassure me that it will be okay if she dies. I tried to reassure her back that although we love her, don't want her in pain, but we also don't want her to fight dying on our account. Probably the hardest conversation I've ever had.

I realized on the drive home that the people I've gathered in my life are people who are unique and their characters inspire me to be a better "human." The Old Woman has such a good moral compass, even when it doesn't jive with the popular opinions. She makes me want to be more giving of myself, more patient with humans. The Phenom is a tremendously good judge of character and unbelievably generous. The Phenom helps me not rush head long into trusting people with no foundation. And, The Phenom makes me want to be more generous to humans.

I think that in this time of facing the known unknown, I really only want people around me who lend light to my life. You may have seen the comments in the previous post about being kept in the light . . . you will never know how much I treasure that sentiment. Thank you. I'll follow your example.