Domestic Violence Sucks

I just read that authorities have found an SUV matching the Amber Alert in the case of Jennifer Hudson's missing nephew. The body of a young boy was found in the vehicle.

The media reports I'm seeing are saying this is a domestic violence killing.

Earlier this month, I attended a candlelight vigil for victims of domestic violence because a friend of mine was speaking. The vigil included a slide show of people in our community killed as a result of domestic violence. I was surprised at how many family members of the primary victim were included in the slide show. I also noticed that in quite a few cases, no comment was made as to the "justice" meted out to the perpetrators. In other cases, the sentence given was so short as to elicit gasps from around the church.

I can't imagine that there is any victimization that could have hurt Ms. Hudson's sister more than the murder of her loved ones. I would be willing to bet she would have rather died herself. And, I can't imagine that there is any way the Hudson family will ever truly recover from this horror. Which is probably exactly what the perpetrator wanted.

With my friend, she was victimized by a man she at one time thought she was going to marry. He had very rigid ideas about what "his" woman could and could not do. He viciously attacked her one night because he found books in her home that weren't the bible. Never mind that she is a high school English teacher. She kept his violence and temper a secret for a long time. Even after she found the courage to break up with him, she didn't tell her family about the shame he inflicted on her.

And, I'm reminded what a calm, peaceful, respectful home I live in . . . and how very lucky I am.

So, how does this translate to your life? If you don't live in a peaceful and respectful home . . . get help for you and yours. If you do, think about giving money or time to your local domestic violence program. If they run a thrift shop . . . donate your old clothes. If you have a "work wardrobe" think about donating your work appropriate stuff to your local shelter so the women in the shelter can have clothes for court or new jobs. Ask if they need diapers, toiletries, etc . . . and sponsor a drive at your work, church, or clubs to gather the needed items.

Vote for judges who are tough on domestic violence. Let your state and national leaders know that funding for domestic violence and sexual violence programs are high on your priorities for their attention.

As the Chick once told me, life isn't short. It's long. Life is too long to not tell people you love them or to not find your peace.