This morning, while driving into the office, I listened to some story on NPR about some trial. But, I quickly made the story all about me and totally tuned the actual story out.
The story tapped into one of my deep, dark fears. Namely, the evidence the government is going to seize from my home to paint me as a very bad monkey.
First, because of a role, the Phenom has an extensive collection of books and videos about Hitler and the Nazis. Secondly, I have a collection of glasses and bar ware I've stolen from a variety of establishments across the country. Then, there is that autographed book by Jimmy Carter. And Emeril. And, all of the radios in our home are tuned to NPR. And, I have a lot of "show tunes" on my iTunes. And, we have a bunch of cats. I just know the cats are going to totally flip on us.
And, there is my collection of vegetarian cook books. And, my many pictures of St. Louis Cathedral. I'm not sure how having multiple pictures of a place of worship will be used against me . . . but, then again, I'm not on the government payroll. Oh yeah, and the baggies of home grown herbs in my freezer. I'm pretty sure they aren't going to believe it's basil. And, I'm pretty sure there are a few rings from cuban cigars somewhere around here.
We're pretty much screwed if the government ever decides to crack down on runaway monkeys.
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