In Law Stories

Over the years, I've heard some whoppers of in-law stories. I sometimes wonder if these people were insane before their children married . . . or did the insanity come afterwards?

I have a friend who says that her father in-law likes to punctuate the end of his work day by jumping out of his truck, and peeing in the yard. She suspects that he also dumps in the yard, but is grateful to have never seen it.

Years ago, I heard a friend tell a mortifying story. Apparently, they were on some family outing, and her husband and father in law were both wearing t-shirts from a race they'd attended. She said that at some point after the picnic lunch, she slipped up behind her husband, slid her hands into the pockets of his shorts, and nuzzled his neck. At which point her father in law turned around and informed her that her husband was in the van, putting away the lunch things. (I know, not really evidence of insane in laws . . . except she was their in-law . . . and it is pretty horrifying.)

I seem to recall another friend telling me that his father in law had a blood vessel in is ass pop once . . . and the guy refused to go to the hospital because he had a doctor's appointment two days later. He bled through several changes of clothing, the couch, the bed, and his car seats. When he finally agreed to go to one of those "doc in a box" places . . . they stopped the bleeding, and gave him strict orders to stick to liquids until the doctor could attend to it the next day. And, what did he do for dinner? Capt'n's platter o'fried fish.

The Chick's mother in law use to shame her publicly for not giving her more grandchildren . . . when she didn't even spend time with the one she had already.

Another friend took her mother in law to see the Monet paintings at the art museum . . . and her mother in law decided they were crap because they were all fuzzy up close. She didn't like that you had to stand back a few feet "to make them pretty."

And The Super Bongo? I don't have in-laws.