a hard realization

I have a wide variety of friends and acquaintances. The sure sign that I am a wise old monkey is that I have now known quite a few people since they were babies and they are now adults.

Over the past months, probably several years in all reality, I've come to realize that one of my friends doesn't think of me as a friend in the same way I do them. It's all really rather confusing.

I've known this person since they were a wee child. I've changed this person's diaper. (Which is surreal, in that diaper changing doesn't really come naturally to monkeys.) I've watched with pride as this person grew up, did very cool things with their education, entered a noble profession, and got married and started a family. I thought I was the picture of supportive friendship as they made lifestyle choices and celebrated milestones. I've always tried to be good friend. I've always tried to put thought into gifts that might communicate my affection for this person.

So, it has taken me a long time to come to the realization that they don't consider me a friend in return. I don't believe there is any issue or spat that can be pointed to as a turning point. I think it would be easier to let go if there were some disagreement we could point to and say "that's why we aren't friends anymore."

I think one reason I've taken this long to clue in is because I've always dismissed their lack of reciprocity on being busy. But, this has gone on for years, and they can't claim to be so busy that for years they allowed a friendship to dangle.

I keep coming back to what the Chick says, life isn't short - it's long, too long to never let the people you care about know it. But, how long does one reach out the branch of friendship only to have it ignored? You humans and your complex relationships. I think I will never really figure it all out.