Perspective

Yesterday, an old friend stopped by the office. I didn't recognize her at first because she has lost a bunch of weight and had no hair. She called about 6 weeks ago, and I tried calling her back and she was never home. Now, I have an idea why. The Big C.

Let's back track -- My friend, and I'm still trying to come up with a clever nickname for her, use to be a daily fixture in my life. She worked in my office and we spent many an hour trying to figure out weird human behavior together. (She is human, but due to quirks in her upbringing finds that people often confuse the heck out of her since they seem so bent on doing the irrational.) Then, she moved on. She went to work for a much larger organization. We hooked up from time to time, but it was rare, and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it was always at her effort.

Then, she just sorta disappeared. Yesterday, she told me that she had been very very ill and spent 8 months of last year in the hospital. Apparently, she was misdiagnosed with a series of illnesses -- and didn't seem to respond to treatment. Finally, they figured out that she had breast cancer -- stage 3. Now, how they can mistake breast cancer for pneumonia is beyond me, but that's the story.

At this point, I think I'll call her "starlight" because stars shine brightly but they are easily hidden behind clouds, and because of their distance, you forget how bright they really are.

Anyway, one would expect someone to be depressed or enraged that repeated "mistakes" were now putting her life at risk. But, quite the opposite for Starlight -- she actually seemed happier, lighter, easier. She said that for the longest time, doctors made her feel like she was sick between the ears or not really trying to get well. But, she really was sick - and they were the nutters. Also, she says that with previous illnesses, she would have obsessively followed the illness via the internet and tried every fly by night suggestion with meds, diet, exercise, yoga, etc. She said that she actually is finding it pretty easy to not be obsessed this time. She has a new doctor she trusts and she is just working hard to live a basic sort of life without complicating things.

It also seemed to me that she has given up being worried that she might say the wrong thing - or that people may misinterpret her well meaning expression if it didn't come out perfectly. I saw someone with a bit more confidence. You know - the kind of confidence older women who have LIVED have and aren't afraid to let you know it.

It's amazing what perspective does for your outlook.