What I learned in Boston

Just in case the "pitchin tea" and "raising a cold Sam Adams to a cold Sam Adams" wasn't enough of a hint, I've been doing a bit of research in Boston, as well as keeping a low profile.

Here is what my research revealed:

a) Bostonians are obsessed with dunkin donuts. Seriously, there is a DD on like every street corner. I bet this is where starbucks got the idea for coffee domination in the first place. We did see a couple of innovative combinations. The Phenom decided the combo Baskin Robbins and Dunkin Donuts was heaven on earth. I've not yet figured out the sushi/dunkin combo.

b) They lie a lot in Boston. The Boston Massacre? not a massacre. Paul Revere's ride at midnight yelling the "red coats are coming" - didn't happen. At least not the way we were led to believe by that naughty Longfellow. The sign telling you where the train station is? It's lying too.

c) Pirates go to church. Who knew. I just always assumed that being a lawless pirate and christian devotion were mutually exclusive. Not so. In the Old North Church, there are four carved angels which were taken by pirates from a ship headed to Canada and then donated to the home church of the pirates.

d) Bostonians eat bland food. Seriously - remember all that exploration for spices? It was for food. We did make the mistake of not factoring in the distance between Mexico and Boston when we visited a "mexican" eatery. It was ranked as a "good" place to eat in the city. Very bland. And, no mexican hands came into contact with the food at any point.

e) Bostonians are very proud of their place in American History. So proud that they sometimes forget that had things not worked out as they did, it would be just a embarrassing rebellion that got no where.

f) Bostonians are easily distracted by sporting events. They love baseball. They love the world cup and hockey and basketball and football.

As far as my plans for universal domination, the most important lesson learned was the value of spin and PR. Get the PR right, and you can turn a bit of violent rioting into a "massacre."