Sparkle's Crime Spree

It seems that you can take the girl out of the Sparkle, but you can't take the Sparkle out of the boy.

Item: in a local "newspaper" it is reported that a small, rural community suffered a Valentine's Day Crime Spree. Apparently two florists were brutally attacked and pillaged. One shop reports that 14 TEDDY BEARS were stolen along with about $100 in damage to the store from the actual act of breaking and entering. Another store, much larger, reports that a bandit broke into their store and caused "$8,000 in damage to about 100 TEDDY BEARS and $2,000 in damage to balloon baskets."

Oh Sparkle! I am so disappointed. However, I have to admit that I kinda feared this sort of thing might happen.

At the risk of sounding like an even more yellow-bellied liberal than I've already been accused of being, let's look at our situation.

Last year, Sparkle had just started feeling comfortable in her true self. Agreed, she did go a bit over board with the floor shows, posse of well muscled, oiled up boys, and outrageous costumes. But, it seemed she had a hungry audience, and who can turn away for their "15 minutes" -- especially when you don't know if your period in the spotlight is only going to be for an actual 15 minutes. Then, tragically, Sparkle flew too high - and suffered a terrible fall from her heights. The accident did more than break her body, it shattered Sparkle's fragile spirit.

Compounding the trauma, came the news that a new, fluffy and pink New Sparkle was nipping at the bit to replace Old Sparkle in our hearts. I think the combination crushed her spirit beyond repair. There was the brief respite, or perhaps distraction, of getting married in a subdued and conventional type wedding.

But, if you remember, it wasn't but a few weeks after the wedding that our beloved Old Sparkle was experimenting with the notion of just bringing out small reminders of her old life. And, I blame myself here, I pushed too hard and scared her off. If only I'd been smarter and willing to let Sparkle return to us at her own pace, perhaps she would not have turned to a life of crime.

And it wasn't any ordinary crime - it was a crime designed to strike out at both love and fluffy, youthful pinkness. The poor, innocent teddy bears. Shame on you Sparkle! If you wanted attention, you merely needed to pull out an old pair of diamond dangle earrings.