Tuesday, November 26, 2013

And time stood still

I've always had difficulty with estimating time.  I think, sometimes, it is related to my total inability to judge portion.  But, it probably has to do with long term effects with lab-induced trauma.

When I was a young monkey, I could give you dates of significant events.  But, if you asked me how much time elapsed between the dates, I couldn't tell 2 months from 6 months.  Even if I'd just rattled off the dates to you.

This condition exists today.  And, even though I know, intellectually, that I'm in error, I don't much care to fix it.

See, if you ask me about my recent bereavement . . . I will say "in the last year, I've lost two of the most significant relationships in my life."  Only, the Old Woman died over a year ago.  And, my dearest friend and buddy died in August.  They died within the same year of each other . . . but I think for a while yet, it will be within the last year in my own mind.

As this family oriented holiday approaches . . . I spend more time wishing I believed in heaven . . . because then I could imagine the Old Woman and my buddy together.  Then, I remember I don't believe in heaven.  And it sucks.

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