Letter to a Sourpuss

Dear Lady who sits in front of me at ball games:

I understand that you aren't a fan of basketball, or people, it would seem. I sense that you think it unseemly that people act outrageously in such venues . . . what with the clapping and the yelling and high fiving the people around them. And, I have observed that you and your husband don't speak or interact during games, leaving me to believe that you are attending the games out of wifely obligation.

However, please know that what you might view as a boring activity that must be endured for the sake of a happy household, I enjoy. I like the camaraderie with my fellow alumni. I look forward to the opportunities to break out of the work-a-day stiffness of formal behavior. Phenom and I actually view attending these events as a "date" and opportunities to enhance our relationship.

Taking all of this into consideration, you should know that every time you turn around and give me the hairy-eyeball when I cheer, each time you give the half head turn of annoyance when I clap, and the more time you spend with your finger in your ear trying to block me out . . . well all that just encourages me. Last game, you gave me 3 hairy-eyeballs, 6 half head turns, and spent a good five minutes of game time with your finger in your ear . . . all in the first half.

Also, I noticed you give the young fan in the seat next to me the stink-eye once too . . . which means you really are an unreasonable troll . . . to try to harsh the enjoyment of a four-year old little boy. Frankly, you should be really grateful for little Will . . . because of him, I have not audibly dropped the F-bomb all season and have kept my cheers to things like "defense" (I know, you really hate that one . . . it's the one that generally gets the full on hairy-eyeball) and "good job."

How about you and your husband have a good, honest talk about how much you hate the experience of watching big time college basketball . . . and let him have the seat next to him for his jacket? I imagine his jacket is a more enjoyable companion.

And, I look forward to continuing to cheer my, our, team on to more victories. I might even throw in a "boo-ya" here and there . . . but only if you are really really foul.

Sincerely,

The fan behind you.