Thursday, December 16, 2010

I know this sounds anti-feminist of me

but bear with me a moment.

I've always been a keenly independent monkey. I believe in sharing the load, paying my way, being an equal partner. And, what I'm going to say isn't really about traditional roles or men versus women. It's about accepting gifts and trust.

Several years ago, I had a hiccup in my employment. And, for the first time, I found myself in a position of needing to be more dependent than I really had ever been comfortable with being. I hated admitting I couldn't pay my own way. But, what I found is that Phenom thought nothing of it. In fact, beyond being generous, learned to ask if I needed help before I was in a position in which I had to ask. It was a tremendous lesson for me. I learned to trust that my worth was more than my check book. I was reminded that every time there is a crisis, Phenom more than rises to the occasion.

I have a friend who is in the process of getting married. He and his bride have just purchased the house they will share after the wedding. What struck me as particularly wonderful is that during our conversation, it was clear that he was happy to have the opportunity to help her get her first house. In his mind, it's a gift he can give her.

I've always said that husbands need to recognize that when their wives cook their favorite meals or try to make the home comforting they do it as an expression of love and affection. I like being reminded that husbands like having the opportunity to express that same love and affection.

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