a) if you drop the F-Bomb too early in a conversation, you're likely to run out of profanity.
b) the economy is really really bad . . . I hear pervs are calling crisis lines as cheap substitutes for phone sex.
c) you should probably notice the two cops sitting in their cars, in the dark, behind a filling station in the middle of the night . . . and find the next station down the highway.
d) a streak of teal or purple or hot pink in your hairdo will do wonders for disguising your actual age.
e) most folks can't handle reality . . . Some lie in order to fool themselves and others. Eventually, no one is fooled.
f) a well timed bit of chocolate or frozen treat can do wonders for an attitude creeping towards bitterness
g) pixy stix are addictive and the orange ones are surprisingly good.
h) take the time to keep your feet clean and toe nails groomed . . . if you ever end up in the ER . . . the nurses are going to make assumptions about the state of your undies/nether parts based on your feet.
i) booze is just about the universally appreciated gift.
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