Mean Ol' Married Ladies Club

I'm frustrated with my intern. She is a very young college student. She has a child and is engaged to be engaged to her boyfriend. She's been with her boyfriend since high school. He has a low paying job but plans to enter the military. She wants to be married, yesterday.

What frustrates me is that she wants to be married so badly, she speaks of nothing else. She comes into the office, and immediately starts talking about wedding venues and how she and her mom have been looking at rings and how mad she is that her boyfriend didn't propose once again. She doesn't have a plan for how she is going to pay for a wedding . . . and she wants a WEDDING. (She also wants to buy a house immediately and not live in military housing. She also has said that if he gets deployed, she's staying here because she isn't leaving her mother.) She got mad at the coordinator at a venue for "treating me like I got no money." She showed up in sweats, no ring, no date, and a vague idea of how many guests (200, maybe 300). When the coordinator gave what I'm sure is a pat speech about young couples not starting their married life in debt, Intern stormed out, mad.

I don't see her developing her own personality or life or friendships. I see her manipulating and pouting and threatening to break up with the boy. The boy says that he wants to get married when they both have a more sure future and income. She wants a big ring now.

Years ago, I knew another college student in a similar boat. She use to complain that she felt like her co-workers were all part of a "Married Ladies Club" and were trying to exclude her from membership when they would say things like "enjoy being young . . . travel and have fun . . . don't be in a rush to settle down." Those mean ol' married ladies.

I guess I've joined them . . . and for the record, the other student's marriage went down in flames.