New Eyes

As ya'll know, I've been forced this year to reconsider my perceptions and what I believed to be true. Several aspects of my existence and place on this planet were turned upside-down. In response, I've had some heartache . . . and some lovely, wonderful and sweet support. I've had the opportunity to make a couple of "friends in passing" or acquaintances into people I really value and look forward to hearing from.

Well, the hit parade just keeps truckling down the street.

This week, my household has been a stop on the family obligation tour. Yes, my grad-student was on this side of the country and stopped by for a looksy. Despite fretting over the little areas that need repair or fresh paint . . . it has been a lovely visit. Good conversations. Good meals. And, a bonus of extra insight.

Being that my grad-student's time with me was so fleeting and that he has children of his own, I've always kinda cast myself as the "5th wheel" or the interloper. I assumed that the affection and brief contact with my grad-student were a manifestation of this status.

Boy, was I wrong. I now am starting to see that, despite my monkey-ness, I am the "normal" "child" reared by the grad-student. Perhaps this is a function of my adhering to the rules of "family" that I believed all humans to follow. I'm also seeing that the fleeting contact we have may actually be more a function of my grad-student being pushed away by his actual children . . . and assigning similar behaviors to me.

This is kinda rocking my world . . . but I think a nice positive, given the parade of negatives. I also need to "human up" and start letting my grad-student know and feel that I want him in my life.