So, this afternoon, ESK (Evil Side Kick) was regaling us with tales of the caliber of moron her husband, a.k.a The King Of The Land Of The Pig People, hangs out with and is influenced by. Since I have learned something of a lesson this year about calling out individuals through my blog . . . bad, bad Bongo. . . I will just refer to this dude as Smokey.
So, Smokey likes to drink. Smokey doesn't show much sense when he drinks . . . oh little indicators like driving after drinking, screaming at small children about their inadequacies as people, and getting arrested in small, southern towns.
Smokey was on a road trip with "The Porcine King" and was up to his usual pushing of the boundaries of what one should imbibe. He'd been slamming them back all day long. The hard stuff too.
Then, some person of equal personality caliber suggested "Statue of Liberty Shots." I'd never heard of these before but apparently, the routine is that you pour a shot, stick your fingers in 151 proof rum, light your fingers ablaze and hold your flaming digits in the air a la the Statue of Liberty, slam the shot and then stick your singed fingers in your mouth to extinguish them.
Smokey was all in. He dipped and alighted his fingers . . . did his shot . . . and when he stuck his fingers in his mouth, rather than the flame going out, the alcohol that he'd been drinking all day had so deeply absorbed into his face that he SET HIS FACE ON FIRE.
He's reproduced since then . . . so no Darwin. Sadly. Let's hope the children got their mom's dna.
1 comment:
Good thing he's not a monkey. But then... Monkeys have more sense... (usually :-)
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