All the King's men

I'm a delightful monkey. I am, damn it. I'm normally even tempered and generous of spirit. Stop laughing . . . I am.

Actually, I'm usually a coward and try to censor myself around people who I think won't understand that, as a monkey, I am of superior intelligence and sick sense of humor.

But, yesterday, my head exploded at work. I was in the midst of a meeting with quite a few folks I know well and a couple I don't know well and someone I'd never met. It was one of those meetings where everyone was ackwardly trying to be polite. Lots of tension and clipped conversation. And, the meeting was being led by an asshat.

Having examined the asshat in the harsh light of day, I think we can say she was well intentioned but a tad dumb. She is exceptionally careless with her words. This is a problem because her role as group leader means she has to be fairly precise with her words. What's more, when anyone points out that she has made a mistake that, if included in the group report would be really really bad, she waves us off and says we are quibbling over semantics.

Finally, after multiple examples of her weird asshatness, my head exploded all over her. It's okay because I think she is too stupid to realize that really and truly she should have been glad I exploded when I did rather than let her continue on and make a truly bigger ass of herself. (she was going to interject a quite racist angle in the group report and couldn't understand why I objected to my name or branch being associated with open racism.)

But, I'm all better now because I have the best Evil Side Kick in the world. When we first hired ESK, I explained that if I ever came into the office in the morning with a can of pringles it was her signal to let me consume the can before attempting any sort of conversation because I would be having a very bad day indeed.

This morning, when I arrived at work, ESK had placed three cans of pringles on my desk.