Toxic

My morning didn't start out great. First, I bolted awake not entirely certain of my surroundings. That hasn't happened. . . um, in, well, um, probably a week. Then, I remembered it was Friday. (YAY . . . no scary clothes for the office!)

Then, I remembered that the reason I set my alarm 30 minutes early is because I needed to take my car in for a governmental inspection. I dressed and was on the road in record time. I delivered my car to the inspectors and took a seat in the designated waiting area.

A TV was blaring re-runs of shows I don't watch normally. And, in just a few minutes, the waiting area filled up. This is where I made my mistake . . . I got smug about getting in so early and thus assumed my wait wouldn't be long. I was wrong.

My wait was almost 2 hours. Between two women who, although had never met before today, bonded over the fact one worked part time as a clerk at the hospital and the other had once had rather messy medical procedures . . . in another hospital . . . in another state.

The two ladies decided that the best way to converse over the blaring television was to lean in . . . over me. And, did I mention that the lady with the gross medical tales to recount in vivid detail had

BREATH THAT SMELLED OF POO ???!!!

Yes. Poo. I know this because I had plenty of time to consider what that smell was . . . as she leaned across me . . . and exhaled in my general direction.

Fortunately, enough rum will help you forget the breath of poo. Remember that . . . you might need it some day.