Wii Fit hates me

My Wii Fit is a cold hearted, monkey-humpin' bastard.

First off . . . it groans rudely when I step on. Secondly, it likes to guilt trip me if I even skip one day of "training." I get lectures about my commitment to health. But, by far, the worst part are the lies . . . the lies, LIES, LIES!

The second day I had it, I had other commitments and couldn't drag it out to play. So, on the third day, the little jerk told me I'd gained 3.5 pounds. It wasn't encouraging or nice about it either. No suggestion that perhaps it might be wrong or if I took off my underpants I might weigh the right amount.

But, this week, it went too far. I played with it both Sat. and Sun. But, had commitments (read: a life) that prevented me from playing Monday or Tuesday. It's called picking people up from the air port or helping people move. Wednesday night, the f*cker told me I'd gained 22 plus pounds since Sunday!!!! No effin' way!!!!

Thursday night, it tried to make it up to me by telling me I'd lost 57 plus pounds. Of course, I am totally willing to accept that I'd lost 57 pounds in just 24 hours . . . especially when I'd just had a big mexican meal with two beers and fried ice cream not an hour before my "date" with Wii Fit. And, I learned that I can eat ice cream and drink beer and still lose incredible amounts of weight!