Egged

I wrote once before that we seem to be the targets for those wandering hawkers of religion. And, how it was taking all my restraint to not "kick around a couple o' rocks in the street" and discuss how "freedom of religion" includes the freedom to sleep in on Sundays.

I am now convinced that we are on some master "heathen" list. The hawkers of religion have been pressing hard on our doorstep . . . and are seriously in need of a lesson on ringing a doorbell in such a way as to NOT tempt the beings that live in the house to arrive at the door ready to inflict psychic pain.

This morning, as I was making the early morning beer run . . . I noticed an easter egg in my yard. I called the Phenom (who was busily sorting the dark and light bottles for the recycle bin. We may be worthless drunkards, but we are socially responsible worthless drunkards.) and the Phenom said that it was an egg from the religious types. Apparently, they think we can be lured away from sin and the pits of hell with easter candy.

I also noticed, that we were the only house on the block with an egg in their yard.

I guess I'm suppose to be shamed, or something. Frankly, I'm going to leave the egg exactly where it is until I clean up my yard next . . . and then, it will be deposited with the pine cones and tree branches. Really! It's gonna take a bigger bribe than candy if I don't care about the pits of hell and the damnation of my soul.

Also, I'm banking on that notion that all animals go to heaven . . . because animals can't be "saved." If you see a loop-hole, you gotta take it.