The Bad News is that I'm a very bad person . . . .

But, the good news is that I can pass for a person at all. So, Win-Win, right?

Unfortunately, the "person" I've become is rather snarky. I'd like to blame the Old Woman, and a game we use to play called "Left door - Right door." This was a game she made up to keep me occupied when we were standing in line or in large crowds. Basically, you point someone out and the other player decides if they should go in the left or right door. If they go right door, they continue on their lives as if we never intervened. If they were left doored, then they dropped off the face of the earth -- but you had to give specific justification for the left-dooring -- and the other player had to agree with you. So, people whacking their children in public or men openly flirting while with their wives, or people with truly hideous fashion/hair/make up were left doored.

Sadly, I suspect my long term snarkiness comes naturally.

Last night, The Phenom and I took a rare night off to attend a basketball game. We had reserved seats in the "big-wig and minor celebrity" section. And when we arrived - before the game started - we found that someone had already tried to poach our seats. I hate that. If you don't like your seats - well be willing to spend more money or work harder to get the "minor celebrity" status to get the seats you want. Then, I started observing the people around me. These are the times when I realize how sheltered and accustomed to small town life I've really become. First, I assume that most people around me are gay. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I see it more as an acceptance that there are gay people about everywhere - even sporting events. (I also assume most truckers are on drugs, but that's another issue.) Afternote: maybe my assumption that everyone is gay comes from hanging out with artistic/actor types so much? That must be it.

There was a family in front of us with a mom, dad, kid, and an uncle who was very earnest in his expression if you know what I mean. I whispered the Phenom that when you see such an earnest young man publicly scarf down a whole bucket of cotton candy, I have to admire how secure he is in his sexuality. But, then I spent too much time during the game staring at the wisps of cotton candy stuck to his beard stubble.

Next to the cotton candy eater was an older, nicely dressed couple with two large trash bags stuffed full of their personal belongings. I whispered, during a time out, that it was quite nice that homeless people could come to the game too. It's a basketball game people - why on earth would you need to lug so much crap with you?

A few rows down was a woman who clearly spent much too much time on her appearance - who could not frigging sit still. I kinda hope she was on drugs because having a disease that would make you unable to sit still for two consecutive minutes must be difficult.

And, there was a rather androgynous woman with a very large camera in front of us. She seemed really quite friendly with everyone in her section. There was much high-fiving and socializing. But, her eating style made me point out to the Phenom that she was a reminder that you humans were descended from animals. Really - she needs to some day eat in front of a mirror because it really was quite disgusting.

But, the home team won - and thus, it was a very good night. I just have to figure out if my natural snarkiness is something that bothers me enough to change.