Thursday, June 21, 2007

deep thoughts, I think

I had an epiphany today. All these years, I thought the reason I love to drive is because I'm something of a control freak. Today, I realized that the heady combination of driving, listening to music really loud, and the sight of road passing underneath actually brings about a feeling not entirely unlike being high. cough, cough, or so I might imagine being "high" would feel like, cough.

For years, I've felt an odd mixture of melancholy and calm seeing the sky in my rear view mirror. I especially appreciate dark clouds behind me and brighter skies ahead of me. I have lovely conversations with myself and other people in the car. And I have deep thoughts. And, much like being high, later I can't remember a single deep thought.

On a related note, I see that a local entertainment venue is hosting the rockers Jefferson Starship. This brought a smile to my face.

Lately, the topic of past loves has been discussed with several of my friends. I have a couple of friends who have looked up those objects of puppy love only to find that the grown up version is just as cool and alluring as the teenaged version. Some of my friends have kept it all in perspective and managed to create a nice, civilized, adult friendship whereas others have fallen into a pit of teen angst and despair. I even read an article that claimed that the pleasure button in the brain that the first flush of love touches can be more addictive than drugs.

Which is why seeing the marquee advertising Jefferson Starship tickets is so heartwarming for me. My first "date" with an actual human was to see Jefferson Starship in concert. It's also where I first encountered actual humans smoking actual weed and my first "contact high."

There was something truly lovely about walking back to the car in the crisp cold air, feeling lightheaded, and wondering when my hearing would return, if ever. I can't remember if we kissed. I imagine we didn't - being that it was a first date with a human, and it was all uncharted waters at that point.

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