First, when you are a movie star, a millionaire, and not paying your taxes, don't expect sympathy from the general public. The vast majority of americans pay their taxes year in and year out. Humans may complain, but they do it. There is nothing hip, subversive, or counter-culture about being a movie star who doesn't pay his taxes. Frankly, with the current values of the american public, you could probably kill your ex-wife and get away with it before you could skip out on uncle sam.
Second, this santa/being good thing is just about to kill the spirit of The Super Bongo. Although, the Phenom will acknowledge that I've made a good showing in the final push towards xmas. Today, I purchased the Phenom's very favorite ice cream. I finished my christmas shopping, and gift wrapped a good deal of it. I'm sure I was good in other ways. I just can't think of them right now. Oh, I guess I should confess another lie. I have never streaked at an NFL game.
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As a regular reader, I have been concerned that The Bongo doesn't feel worthy of Santa this year. Henceforth, I have compiled a list of reasons Bongo will most certainly receive/deserve many treats from Santa:
1)treated good friends to various drinks and treats, many homemade, throughout the year
2)broke up girl fights between The Chick and subversive "meanie girls"
3)drove The Chick to faraway getaway, even though Bongo could barely see over steering wheel
4)cuddled many a sleepy human babe, thus enabling its human mother restoration
5)kept vigilant watch upon Paris, Britney, Tom, Katie and various other Celebutarbs so the rest of us could sleep easier
Sit in wait for Santa, Bongo. He will surely be making a stop for you!
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