You know those emails that everyone passes around as if no one has ever seen before? You know - about how broken cookies don't have calories because the act of breaking them makes all the calories drain out?
Well, I have a couple o' universal rules I'd like to propose.
1) Santa can't see what you do in the bed room. That would be pervy and illegal in most states.
2) When local organizations put together recipe books for fundraisers, only people who actually know how to cook can type up the recipes. I get so annoyed when I read a list of ingredients - but the instructions leaves what you do with half the ingredients out.
3) When people leave a building, they move away from the threshold of the exit before deciding to rumage through their purses, light ciggies, or catch up on the last 20 years with an old friend.
4) Employees of a store ought not impede the shopping experience of shoppers.
5) All persons pushing a cart in a store ought to adhere to "sides of the aisles" as one would the road. Leaving your cart caddy-corner in an aisle should be a free target for ramming.
6) DH or not, make up your freakin' minds.
That's probably enough for now. Adopt these rules voluntarily now, or when I finally enact the PLOT, it will be a matter of force.
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